Thursday, March 24, 2011

In the spirit of bipartisanship

I would like to put forward someone to be the face of the 'most open and ethical administration ever seen' (ver. 2.0).
He is one Lawrence Patterson, acting head of information technology for the Cuyahoga County (OH) fiscal recorder office.
This one dedicated .GOV employee takes his job so seriously that he cannot answer such an open ended question as to using a photocopier.

Here is some testimony from the court records.

Marburger: During your tenure in the computer department at the Recorder's office, has the Recorder's office had photocopying machines?

Cavanagh: Objection.

Marburger: Any photocopying machine?

Patterson: When you say "photocopying machine," what do you mean?

Marburger: Let me be -- let me make sure I understand your question. You don't have an understanding of what a photocopying machine is?

Patterson: No. I want to make sure that I answer your question correctly.

Cavanagh: Dave, I'll object to the tone of the question. You make it sound like it's unbelievable to you that he wouldn't know what the definition of a photocopy machine is.

Marburger: I didn't ask him to define it. I asked him if he had any.

Patterson: When you say "photocopying machine," what do you mean?

Marburger: Let me be clear. The term "photocopying machine" is so ambiguous that you can't picture in your mind what a photocopying machine is in an office setting?

Patterson: I just want to make sure I answer your question correctly.

Costello: Well, we'll find out. If you can say yes or no, I can do follow-ups, but it seems -- if you really don't know in an office setting what a photocopying machine is, I'd like the Ohio Supreme Court to hear you say so.

Patterson: I just want to make sure I answer your question correctly.

Cavanagh: There's different types of photocopiers, Dave.

Costello: You're speaking instead of -- you're not under oath. This guy is.

Cavanagh: I understand that, but I understand what his objection is. You want him to answer the question, but I don't think it's fair.

Costellor: It's not fair?

Cavanagh: It's not a fair question. A photocopy machine can be a machine that uses photostatic technology, that uses xerographic technology, that uses scanning technology.

Costello: I don't care what kind of technology it uses. Has your offices -- we don't have technocrats on the Ohio Supreme Court. We've got people like me, general guys --

Cavanagh: Objection.

Costello: -- or gals. I'm not really very interested in what the technology element of it is. I want to know --

Cavanagh: That's what's at issue in the case, Dave.

Costello: Not in my judgment. Do you have photocopying machines at the Recorder's office? If you don't know what that means in an office setting, please tell the court you don't know what it means in an office setting to have a photocopying machine.

Abbott: I would like to answer your question to the best of my ability.

Costello: I'm asking you to answer that.

Abbott: So if you could explain to me what you mean by --

Costello: I'm not going to do that because I want you -- I want to establish on the record that you really don't know what it is. I want to establish that.

Now, do you know what it is or do you not know what it is? Do you understand what that term means in common parlance or not?

Abbott: Common parlance?

Costello: Common language.

Abbott: I'm sorry. I didn't know what that meant. I understand that there are photocopying machines, and there are different types of them just like --

Costello: Are there any in the Recorder's office?

Abbott: -- there are different cars. Some of them run under gas power, some of them under electric power, and I'm asking if you could help me out by explaining what you mean by "photocopying machines" --

Costello: That's a great point.

Abbott: -- instead of trying to make me feel stupid.

Costello: If you feel stupid, it's not because I'm making you feel that way.

Cavanagh: Objection.

If you'd like to hear the whole thing, it's here.

Patterson makes $64,000 a year.

1 comment:

I've had to enable moderation because some bots just can't stop sh1tting where other people want to live......kind of like Liberals.

It's either this or WV...