As a matter of fact the only time I ever took any interest in the game was when America won some kind of woman's title and Brandi Chastain pulled off her jersey.
Now you know that I'm not anywhere near versed in the intricacies of soccer, but I'm sure I can tell you which one has never been near a soccer game in his life:
I hear there are some REAL ghettos down there in the slums, maybe you should stay there and put your community organizational skills to work. Don't worry, we're getting used to nobody making decisions over in DEECEE.
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