Thursday, August 17, 2006

Q and A time at PETA

Stolen from The nose on your face.

These are truly questions the world needs to know about animals:

The PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) website has a wonderful question and answer feature that we've put to use over the past few months. We're still waiting for replies to the questions we submitted, below.

1) I’m having a barbeque and trying to decide if I should put veal or pork on the shish-kebob. Which do you think is easier to impale-- the tender flesh of young calves who’ve never seen daylight, or the succulent tissue of a cuddly pig?

2) I recently hit a young fawn with my new Hummer. The splatter of technicolor gore across my hood and windshield was amazing! I immediately stopped to call my Hummer Dealer to find out if deer spleen stains. Problem was, I couldn’t hear the guy on the phone over the agonized mewling of the mangled fawn. Do you have any idea?

3) My friend and I have a bet. He says that a goldfish will survive the puree setting on the blender, and I think it won’t. I need to win this one because I lost the "cats always land on their feet" bet. Anyway, we’re going to do a series of tests at each blender setting. Any idea where we can get some cheap goldfish?

4) Our dog used to bark every time someone rang the doorbell. We were able to stop him by kicking him in the b*lls as hard as we could every time he did it. Problem is, we can’t see his b*lls anymore. I think we can get them to pop back out of his abdomen if we hold his head under water. My dad wants to just kick him in the ass until they fall back down. Which do you think will work?

5) Do you know any wildlife preserves where they allow you to hunt blind, injured animals?

H/T to Jarheads Firing Range

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