Friday, September 02, 2011

Time for driving tips with Kurt

Because there are a lot of you people moving here from the states that you turned into a socialist paradise- and can't find work- here are some Texas driving tips.

  • We don't drive like you. We actually agree that using turn signals actually helps keep traffic moving a little better.
  • Yes I'm in a big truck so that means I can only go as fast as I can go- so when you're behind me think of these things:
                 A- There are other lanes (probably moving faster, too!)
                 B- No matter how close you tail me, I can only go as fast as I can go.
                 C- If you're following me so close that I can't even see you- how are you going to intimidate me
                       into speeding up.
                 D- I take a lot longer to stop than you do- hence that huge following gap you like use to shoot                              the offramp in.
                  E- Most importantly. I'm getting paid by the hour- YOU are obviously in a hurry. When you                                cause my wreck, I'll make sure to have our talk with Officer Obie takes as long as possible.
                       I might have even had my video working so I can show him how you cut me off with                         no  warning.
  • When I have my turn signals on and you're sitting six inches off my bumper- and I'm looking at you through my west coast mirrors---I really 'CAN'T' tell that your twitching index finger sitting on top of the wheel means it's ok to move over.
  • Do we even want to get into the whole 4-way stop on flashing (malfunctioning) stoplight?

Really people, get a clue!


  1. Another fine tip to help gain the trust and respect of that driver coming at you - when you're on a side road trying to get out on to a busy two lane road, when you see a truck coming at speed and matching the velocity of the rest of the traffic, well, go ahead and pull out in front of it. Since it's a magnitude of weight heavier than your car, it really can violate physics and shut down quicker, plus it's an optical illusion that it's moving so fast. Having the truck wail to a near halt to avoid hitting you as you pull out is all for show. They also won't mind if you go down the road and hang a left, shutting them down again while you wait for traffic to clear so you can actually make that turn. They won't mind, because you were only using the road for a short time. They particularly don't mind if there is no traffic at all behind them, because if you had waited until they had gone by, they wouldn't have had the opportunity to show just how cooperative professional drivers really are.

  2. Maybe people should know that flashing the headlights is, in fact, a signal that there is room for them to pull over. A truck driver told me that years ago and I think they seem to appreciate it. I usually get a flash in return after they move.

  3. That light flashing is appreciated- except doing the brights thing at night when I'm looking in my mirror :-)