Fom the desk of the Rev, Frederick Jones

Fellow believer,

Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Each year for the last 14, I have made the tour of the mid-west and southern states and have delivered a series of lectures on the evils of drinking. On this tour, I have been accompanied by my young friend and assistant, Clyde Liedstone. Clyde, a young man of good family and exellent background, is a pathetic example of life ruined by exessive indulgence in whiskey and women.

Clyde would appear with me at lectures and sit on the platform, wheezing and staring at the audience through bleary and bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, picking his nose, passing gas, and making obscene gestures while I would point him out as an example of what over-indulgence can do to a person using the devils brew.

Last fall, unfortunatly, Clyde died. A fellow blogger has given me your name and I was wondering if you would be available to take Clyde's place on my 2006-07 Spring Tours.


Yours in Faith,

Rev. Fredrick Jones