Monday, November 22, 2004

Times, they are a changing, , ,

America under Bush/Hitler
( For you literal minded libs progressives, it's a parody- like like your hyperbole about starving kids, and stripping Medicare)

"Let’s stipulate for the sake of argument that everything the Left claims to fear about the Bush admin and mainstream red-state America is true.

Yep, that’s right, you commie bastiches, we’re coming for you. It’s only a matter of time now until you hear that late-night knock on the door you’ve been dreading all along. Our jack-booted gendarmerie (gendarmerie??? that's French!!) is going to be working overtime rounding up every non-white and non-rich subject of our fascist regime, and we’re going to be baking every last one of you into pies that we’ll then refuse to share with the poor and hungry. We’ll be baking those pies in coal-fired ovens, and those ovens will be devoid of any sort of exhaust-scrubber whatever, because we want to release all the toxic gases and chemicals we can into the atmosphere.

We’ll be spiking the rivers with DDT, alar, thalidomide, and whatever other chemical bugaboos we can think of so as to pollute the drinking water, too. We’ll cram the landfills (which will be more numerous than ever) with deadly silicon breast implants, and we’re going to wipe our asses with copies of the Kyoto Treaty, , ,

We’re going to subjugate the entire world through violence and capitalist exploitation. We’ll be sending our duped, mindless killerbot soldiers to the remotest corners of the Earth to deny freedom to every little brown person currently enjoying an idyllic, bucolic existence in harmony with unspoiled nature, every racial, religious, and cultural minority who has thus far lived relatively free of the sting of our rapacious lash. We’re all going to get rich from it, and we’re going to make the poor noble Bob Cratchets and Tiny Tims of the world pay for our sumptuous lives of piggish, rankly self-indulgent consumerism, and then we’re going to kill them when we’ve bled them completely dry.

Yep, it’s all true, every bit of it; the New Gulags, which we Nazified Tolkien geeks like to refer to as Barad Ashcroft, or just Shrubthanc, have been under construction since early 2001 and are almost ready to open for business. The ultra-right-wing corporate media establishment has known all along, and have been helping us cover it all up, , , and it’s all going to be done because Jesus told us to, and that’s the only reason we’re ever going to need. Because hey, we’re stupid.

Michael Moore? Dead soon, at our hands, as punishment for daring to dissent. Karen Finley? Ditto. Hillary Clinton? She’ll be crawling around our (segregated) private club on all fours in a Playboy Bunny costume, forced to beg for the privilege of bringing us drinks, dropping grapes into our mouths, and mopping the floors with her hair—just to remind any of you other strong, uppity women who might get ideas about overturning the established patriarchal order who’s really in charge here. Other younger, more attractive women will be forced into sexual slavery, and abortion will absolutely not be an option for dealing with the inevitable unwanted pregnancies that will result. Rusty coathangers will be available at the door, although using them will be punishable by electrocution—electricity provided by the nuke plants that will be on every corner and completely unregulated and unsafe. But it’s just as well that they are our slaves, because there ain’t gonna be no welfare to help them out, and they’re not going to be allowed to work at anything other than pleasing their oppressors.

We’ll be burning the UN HQ in New York down, of course, and we’ll be locking all the delegates inside the building before we set it alight. Then we’ll be invading France, just to teach ‘em a lesson about how we Texas cowboys do bidness. The world’s oil, of course, is ours, and we’ll be boiling tons of it and pouring it over the heads of those who refuse to acknowledge our Xtian God. There’ll be no stem cell research, there’ll be no health care at all for the poor (whose numbers we will be increasing by every means we can think of), and if you dare to complain about life in the New Conservative Amerikkka, we’re going to kill you for it.
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It's a great rant, wish I could come anywhere near that - without all the foul language that I'd feel necessary to include

Read the rest at Cold Fury
Via Mudville Gazette

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