So I fixed made the tailgate better.
I found out by looking for how to get the top cap off, that this is obviously a problem for people who don't baby their trucks. In this toob, you can see someone (factory of shop) added pop rivets to the weak spot on top. I used bolts.
The top rail isn't really "hard" to get off, except that as you can see- it has about 100 keeper tabs on it that you HAVE to pinch, because if you just pull- they break. I'm sure they have a tool for it because linemans and needle nose pliers didn't reach.
Reinforced where the side was buckled and torn.