Dude!!! you don't know how lucky you are.

I mean You're completely unclear of the concept of 'good gay'?

If my wife (or fiancee) wanted to bring her girlfriend along on a camping trip- guy, I know you're in a completely .....um...Brunei ...country- but DOOD, she's farking sharing her GIRLFRIEND with you.

You really need to turn in your Man Card if you can't make this work. Unless, you know- she is into whips and things....

I was moving trailers today

I was moving the dry vans we use for stock/supply/parts trailers from jobsites to the yard and I want to ask you people who drive cars and SUVs some questions.

Like why- when you're using the onramp to a highway- don't you speed up or slow down when someone's hauling a 53' trailer next to you? You're supposed to pick a hole and match your speed to meet it- NOT pace a semi that can't do anything but drive.
I mean for the f-ck sake- SPEED UP or SLOW DOWN, don't make me run you off the shoulder because you have your head up your @ss.

Or- when your behind me with clear lanes open on the fast side, WHY do you need to follow so close that I can only see one side mirror tip or the other because you can't hold your lane position. Dood, go frigging around you're not going to make me go any faster than I'm trying to go.


Lastly- Why do you need to get right on my traier tires and stay glued there for miles? Are you counting rivets? Are you singing that song "The wheels on the truck go round and round..."

I mean, people, lets get your heads out of our @sses when you're around big trucks.

'Fair and ballanced'?

I have the FoxNews radio as my alarm clock.

I woke today to the news that Acorn was closing.

AAAANKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wrong FoxNewsRadio, they're rebranding themselves.
They're the same socialists as ever with the same people who see nothing wrong with brothels stocked with 12 year-old illegal immigrants.

You know...

I was kinda watching this between surfing my blogroll when I thought...

'Somehow- through the magic of the SyFy channel and Dr. Who- if some German air ace ended up in Iraq or Afghanistan, they'd see the helicopters all over. Then they'd see the American star and start shooting. When those Apache's turned around and started flying backwards while knocking chunks off their Messerschmidt's- they'd think 'Mien Gott those Americans can make their autogyros fly backwards...where are they getting all their ammunition fro................"

Meanwhile...

In other apocalyptic news, we now have flowcharts in case of the zombieclypse.




Click twice to gigantify.

It's on

All you MFs that voted for this Communist and his Democrat lackeys- Keep those stickers on your cars.

I'm going to do everything I can to oust Ciro Rodriguez, (D-Tejano) form his office.

I'm also going to check that little box on the top of my ballot that says "Straight ticket REPUBLICAN."

Boobies!

Who isn't interested in seeing boobies?

I needed something for eyebleach to get the last post out of spewing range when you opened this blog, so yo get a short clip of cute boobies!

The 0bama toutch

It just keeps on giving.
This time it's Michelle's clown costume dress designer.

Because who else could make couch-cover bukkaki so enviable?


Not to mention boobie-belt chick?


Now, lets just hope that 'The Wons' touch keeps working so well for tomorrows health-scam vote.

She said

"Whenever I hear helicopters on TeeWee, I think of MASH".

I said "Whenever I hear helicopters on the radio I think of Pink Floyd".

I've got a troll

He's not a very good troll- which pretty much fits this blog, doesn't it?
Maybe he's not one of those 'popular' trolls that get assigned to the good blogs and he got sent here until he can work his way up the troll ladder?
Anyway, here's what he sent on my frustration post about 'those who know better than us- what we need.'

You want some cheese with that whine? I would think you would have more important things on your mind with you about to the get the secure health care you did not want and all...

Are you going to move when health care reform passes? I just want to know so I can keep track of the Tories I'll have to fight in the up coming rebellion...

Well Elmo, first things first- I can't make a comment while AdAware is running- for some reason. Just more whining about the way 'those who know more than we need to' handle my computer life.

So you get a post all to yourself!

This healthcare that's been going on for over a year- my company just renewed and it's costing me an extra #7/week for less than I had for the last four years...I wonder why?

No, I won't be moving, I'll do my best to see that the only *D* in DeeCee is District.

AND lastly- how are you and the rest of your Gun fearing woosies going to fight if you're afraid to pick up a gun?

Now- finally: if this bill was soooooo good, why does the party with an unholy majority NOT be able to pass it because the Republicans had no way of stopping you. WHy isn't it law already?

Automatic updates

I lost EVERY bookmark I had when FireFox automatically updated to it's 3.0.whatever version.
Now I have to try remembering what I'm missing.

Gawd, even my midget penguin porn is gone.

AND every spyware cookie I had blocked- now I'm going to have to run my AdAware for three days to get a handle on that spyware...AGAIN.

They have shown commitment- Hillary

Of the two sides, Israel has gone out of their way to prove that they want peace.
It's your terrorist buddies in (the country that never was)Palestine that are the ones always cock-blocking the peace process.

Israel has given up land, stopped building homes for their own people, -taken homes AWAY from their people to show they want peace....or at least a cessation of active terrorism.
And you chit all over them

The Palestinian terrorists lob rockets at Israel with impunity, send suicide bombers to blow up pizza parlor, school buses and day care centers and you poo-poo them away and excuse them every chance you get.

Now you and every other Anti-Semite in the world want Israel to stop building on land that NEVER was and NEVER would be on the table. Now, the UN and the EU are piling on the ONLY civilized country in the Mid-East who actively reaches out to their enemies withe a new hand each time they cut off the old one.

What about this vaunted Moslem brotherhood we hear so much about? Egypt has a border wall to rival anything Israel has- because they don't want those rabid animals infecting their people. Jourdan doesn't want anything to do with them.

Now your sending those arrogant representatives to try bullying Israel into signing another 'peace treaty' with someone who'd use it for toilet paper-if they were that civilized.

Bah, if Israel wasn't so polite they need to tell you to go fuk-off until you convince the Palestinians to lay off terrorism.

Another recall

While flipping through channels she stopped on the news that Honda now has a recall going on.

Me: Now it's Honda. What for?

Her: I didn't catch that, I wonder how many more?

Me: All but GM.

Her: Is the Mitzu on the list.

Me: I haven't heard about it.

Her: Of course not, they're only down to the *H*s.

YES!

That's what we need to pass a massively intrusive and unpopular healthcare bill.

Courage!


Next we'll make sure to follow up on GWB crashing a 'Thud' before he went AWOL in TANG

So...

Did everyone remember to move their clocks ahead by an hour yet?

Unless you're in a country where your .gov doesn't try to control time itself.

Dear Israel,

Please accept out apology for the fools in DeeCee.

You see, most Americans DO support you and *know* that you're the only ally we have in the Mid-East.
Those @ss clowns only got there by lying, and the media who were supposed to vette him being in his camp- yeah, they lied too.

His main supporters were looking for all the free ice dream they could get, and being as they're anti-Semitic Liberals they have no problem throwing you under the bus.

Most of the real people who actually understand threats and how the real world works know how well you've transformed your desert into a garden- and how those human garbage trashed everything you left them when you gave 'occupied' territory back to them.
I mean this in the most heartfelt way-

Good luck in your self preservation for the next three years.
I hope you can help us in spite of the arrogant snubs from a clueless administration.


Please hold out for a conservative president in 2012.

Respectfully,
Kurt P
Hondo, TX



PS:
When that moron, Joe Biden was 90 minutes late to your stat dinner---I hope you started without him.
If not, I hope you'll do it in the future.

Am I the only one

in the entire Bexar metropolitan area that want's to go get home tonight?

I mean, there must be over 6 million people on the road right now and I'm the only one who even want's to get close to the speed limit?

Jezzus, people- you're on a frigging INTERSTATE- why are we going 20 MPH below the farging speed limit.

It took an hour and a half to get home tonight.

Fuk!

The Slaughter solution?

The way those Dems have been bending the rules, it might be the start of an entire country veering onto the 'Final solution"...again. Given the Liberal hatred of Jews, and all.

But that's not what I want to suggest today.
The way the Libs are mangling the rules in order to get that horrendous 0bamaKare bill through make me want to suggest- at least:

When we get in.
Hopefully this November.

That hard and fast rules are made- a constitutional amendment- if needed.

-That NO change in the rules of the Congress will be effective until the minority becomes the majority. Then all the changes the old majority wanted to steamroll the minority will become actable.


Wadda think?

Patent medicine

In this post we'll be looking at an oldie, but a goodie.....Hadaccol.

According to my old landlord, it was the medicine that the ladies took who didn't drink the demon alcohol. He had plenty of stories about his auntie who always had a bottle to tipple on in her apron pocket.



Here's how Quackwatch describes it:

LeBlanc, during the heyday of his fame, was fond of telling inquiring reporters how it had all begun. In 1943, he said, he got a bad pain in his right big toe. The pain spread to his knees, his arms, his neck. Three different doctors gave him three different diagnoses—gout, arthritis, beriberi. Each treated him without success. While in a New Orleans hospital, he overheard his wife say: "He really is sick. I never saw Dudley so bad. I just don't know if I'll ever see him alive again." [3]

LeBlanc sought to escape from the hospital. As he hobbled out he met an old friend, another doctor, who told him he looked like "walking death." Hearing LeBlanc's symptoms, the doctor offered to cure them. So LeBlanc went with him to his office for an injection. Like magic the medication began to cure his condition. Each shot brought further improvement. LeBlanc was naturally curious. So he asked: "Doc, whazzat stuff you got in dat l'il ole bottle?"

"Dude, you crazy?" the doctor answered. "You think I give away my secrets to a man in the patent medicine business?"

Several days later the doctor was busy and told his nurse to give LeBlanc his shot.

"She wasn't so smart as him," LeBlanc later reminisced. "Nor so careful either. She left the bottle on the table. When she finished I gave her that old Southern Chivalry, you know, ,after you, Gertrude.' As soon as she turned her back I shoved the bottle in my pocket."

Taking the bottle to his hotel, LeBlanc read the label, then got some books to find out what the label meant. His injections, be found, were mostly B vitamins. "Then I figured to myself," LeBlanc said, "this is it."

It—as he shortly worked things out—proved to be an elixir of 12 per cent alcohol, plus some of the B complex vitamins, iron, calcium, and phosphorus, dilute hydrochloric acid, and honey. LeBlanc mixed the first batches in big barrels behind his Abbeville, Louisiana, barn, nearby farmers' daughters stirring it with boat oars. Everybody sampled it, and the ailing felt improved. LeBlanc put his product on the market. It took hold fast [4].

"They came in to buy Hadacol," recalled a Lafayette pharmacist, "when they didn't have money to buy food. They had holes in their shoes and they paid $3.50 for a bottle of Hadacol."

It was so popular that songs were sung about it:



And on that note, I'll be dosing this flue with a good long shot of Nyquill

Counting on measurements

I was watching one of those 2012 *ZOMYGAWDTHEWORLDWILLENDIN 2012" on the History channel, or NatGeo. Whatever.

The Mayans used a 20 day rotation before they came on their version of the weekend called Hota (?). Their year was like 10 months long and they had some kind of major milestone every 3-4 generations where they just dropped everything and moved.
(Hey, this is from a show I wasn't watching- wikipedia is here.)

This is going to be a comment about space and time and measurement.
Time is something that just happens at a measured pace.
It's the same wherever you are (ON EARTH). What is different is how it's measured.
I can think of several calenders off the top of my head that all show today as a different date and year, even century. But the same amount of time has passed since that Mesquite tree sprouted outside my window for all those calenders. They just show a different timestamp.

The monitor I'm (sort of) looking at while I type this is 17" diagonal, which is like 1/2 a meter or 2/3 of a Cubit. It's the same no mater how you measure it. Ideally you should get the same measurement by reverse engineering it with the right math.

Temperature the same. Water freezes at 32F/0C/?in Farsi.
It's the same, just measured differently.

So why.....(I actually know why) do these scientists think just because the Mayan calender ends in 2012, after Mercury lines up on two consecutive Hota days with another solar phenomenon on the last Hoto day that stone age Indians knew when the world was going to end.
Which, if we looked at it from OUR Julian calander- there would be NO reasonable corrilation to our life at all.

Aren't these the same scientists who study English crop circles and have described advanced civilizations from the designs that two ADMITTED pub denizens have SHOWN how they made those crop designs.

You know the same ones who are responsible for the whole global warming scam?
Because their science isn't *really* science, or *really* peer reviewed because then they'd need to rely on unpopular FACTS.


But hey, maybe Xanterhufbble (the village joker) went to the big shayman and said- "Yo homeslice, what do you think would happen 1500 years from now if we just stopped this calender and let Whitey find it? We'd so PWNE them!"

Clueless in Hondo

I guess I'm somehow just not getting the nuance here.

San Fransisco is finally (ok,some of the taxpayers) are finally getting tired of being hasseled by bums and 'the homeless'.
So what does our 'compassionate' city do to make them behave? Well, they'll fine them if they don't move along.

Ok, so here's what I don't understand.
The goal is to get them to stop loitering and panhandeling -by fining them.
Those people don't have money to pay those fines, firstly.
Added to the basic idea that if they actually GAVE A CR@P, they wouldn't be where they are to get caught camping on the streets.

So if they can't pay, why fine them? If they could pay- they won't because they're bums who are bums for a reason.

What are you going to do? Fine them more if they don't pay?

Life on Mars

How about Walmatian life?

I had to deposit the check I blew off Friday because I didn't want to fight the traffic around 410 and Marbach, so I went to the Wally World up the road for the weekly groceries.

It's a *real* super Walmart with about 25 checkout lanes. All but two quick checks and ONE regular checkout were closed. On a Sunday morning where I was behind Mr. and Mrs. Anal Retentive. There they were with a piled-high shopping cart that included two plastic wrapped lamp shades.

They were nestled together so save space.
...And no check-out that I saw had any of those "my pile" separator bars.

Anyway, the checker has this thing about bagging. every. thing.
The 20# bag of puppy chow went (mostly) into a bag.
Then came those lampshades- in plastic- where our intrepid bag lady must have spent five minutes trying to get those PLASTIC encased lamp shades into a plastic bag.

Our stout and ever so helpful shoppers decided they'd give it a go and let her finish checking them out. Well, they succeeded by sheer intellect -and putting one PLASTIC wrapped shade into each separate plastic bag...where they found out that they couldn't shove them together like before.
As Mr. Anal was studying the little electric debit card gizmo, he decided to ask how it ...you know...worked.
Mrs. Bag Lady was clueless and I wasn't going to volunteer any info that would keep me there any longer than possible.


Oh, and each gallon of motor oil got it's own separate bag, too.

As I got up and was trying to hurry her- everything got it's bag.
Even my little package of nuts and bolts..she had to go to
an.
entirely.
different.
station to get said mini-bag so as not to contaminate the packaged gravy she just place in her bag.

Gawd, I'm glad to be home.
Oh, and Digiorno? I refuse to pay $6 for a pizza that I have to cook myself.

So how's your morning going?

Katie Price

She's some kind of supermodel/autheress/guest on Grahm Norton again tonight.

At first look, she's a knockout.
Stauesque, black hair over what I thought were Brittish blue eyes (nothing hotter than black over blue).


But tonight on Grahm...WAIT! (I'm a conservative so why would I be watching Grahm? A complete openly ghey Irishman who makes it part of his persona? It's not that I can overlook something like that because I'm actually a mature adult that looks at talent over gender issues.)

OK- got that out of the way.

Now...She's got brown eyes and what look like the silicone mountains of the BBC.
Damme... now I need to find someone else to represent all that's ...it in the UK.

Well, there's always Gwen and that sexy gap in her teeth...



But, Torchwod is over and in the BBC way of doing things, we on't be seeing them again, no matter how popular they are.

Well, here's a gimme to BBCAmerica...endless loops of Eve Miles running will keep your ratings up. - Just saying,,,because I'm only here to help.


UPDATE:
Bonus question -NO SCROLLING BACK UP!

How many rings is Katie wearing??

Oh hell no

The history of the Philadelphia Navy Yard is the history of the American Navy. Originally started in 1762 as a collection of some of the most skilled shipwrights in the colonies, it witnessed the birth of the United States Navy and the Marine Corps and outfitted the first American fleet in 1775. The yard was the site for the organization of a Navy Department, the Navy shore establishment, and the construction of the 44-gun frigate United States, the first American warship to be launched under the naval provisions of the Constitution. As the Navy converted its ships from sail to steam in the mid-nineteenth century, the Philadelphia Navy Yard was a leader in naval innovation, particularly the development of the screw propeller. During the Civil War, it stood as the first line of coastal defense for the Union as all navy yards to the south fell to the Confederacy.

Outgrowing its location in the Southwark district of Philadelphia, the Navy Yard moved to League Island in 1876 and became the center for such technological developments as radio and steam turbine propulsion. By World War II, the Philadelphia Navy Yard had become one of the most modern and productive shipbuilding industrial plants in the world. It was responsible for constructing scores of warships, including the largest U.S. battleships, New Jersey and Wisconsin. Following the war, the yard continued to serve as a vital part of the Navy shore establishment, refurbishing and modernizing vessels as well as maintaining a large reserve fleet.

Now, some Dem wants to rename it after the anti-American Democrat John Murtha, the ex-marine who accused the Haditha Marines of cold blooded murder.

And I missed this?

In the Mumbai terrorist attack aftermath, the Mumbai police blamed their poor performance on being out gunned by the terrorists who were using MP5s while they were using Lee-Enfield rifles.

Because a Lee-Enfield that throws a .30 cal round accurately over 2,000 yards is no match for a pistol calibre machine gun that sprays all over at maybe 150yards max range?
Maybe someone ought to show them the difference and stand 2o0 yards away from the next MP5 toting gunman while watching the bullets make little dirt geysers in front of him, then one round in the offhand position right in the brisket from that .308.

Recycling

Take it how you want.



Which seems to remind me of Adak island, which happens to be Eric's favorite duty station.

I'm stuck

At level ten.

--No I'm not, you have to treat it like the hole is the bottom of a drain.

Now why did the IRA, Northern Ireland and terrorists jump to mind

When I read this about an Irish town called Carrickmacross protesting the Israeli ambassador.

Because of Israels political policies said the SINN FEIN representative to that towns council.
Because there's nothing like bombing innocent Protestants and babies that spell honorable behaviour.

The scent of a transformer

Actually it was a Metal Halide 250 Watt ballast, but that would make a long title now- wouldn't it?

Short story:
We burnt a ballast in a light pole this morning.
Now, Six hours later, I still smell it.

Long, involved and wandering story:

Anyway- I got a cortisone shot in the elbow yesterday, and this morning felt like it had embedded razor blades. So I called the head service guy and asked if we could reschedule this service call for a day, or two?

"No, we promised them today and they're important people and we want their business."
Ok, I'll need a helper because I couldn't even hold my toothbrush right this morning.

So we get to this Mexican heritage place..you know 'Latino pride' and all.

For some reason they wanted ALL the ballasts and lamps (bulbs) changed out on light poles that looked almost brand new. Probably somekind of budget/funding/grant thing.

On the fourth light my guy just finished reconnecting the wires and i saw the one light was good, and walked over to where I could see the other one and "CHIT, DISCONNECT IT! FAST!" As the smoke poured out of every opening it could find.

I went up and took a quick look and saw it was hooked up right:
-hot to 208.
-Common to common.
-Ballast to capacitor.
-Ballast to lamp.
-Cap to lamp.

You hooked it up right, maybe it was just a bad ballast...that's why, when we heat something up after working on it- that we stay away when we power it on. (He's an apprentice, still kinda new)

I dug another ballast out of the truck, it got hooked up and worked fine.
We finished up and now, six hours latter I still smell like burnt insulation.

A blast from the past