The train ride

4 people in the carriage of a train - an Englishman, a pretty young Blonde girl, an ugly old woman and, a Frenchman.

It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel.

In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the Train emerges from the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.

The old lady thinks "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the Dark And she slapped him"

The pretty young blonde thinks " I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle Me In the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him"

The Frenchman thinks "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me"

The Englishman thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can smack that French tw*t again"

Does this picture make me look fat?

Maybe.
But I like pleasingly plump.

But just because you thought it did, and you stole 1,000 school papers to hide it- GUESS WHAT?????
Now you're going to be all over the Internet!

And just to let you know, you shouldn't be so embarrassed about your belly- You really ought to be embarrassed that you look like a whore stripper on her way to work. The used "ho" look brought to you by the letter "N"


Do your parents know you dress like that?

This tickles my sense of the bizzaar

Bwahahahah!

"You think I'm cute? You should see my aunt!


But, then again,,,,maybe this was it's mommy?
Didn't know they had that many free range deer in England. Good thing the Queen didn't sik the sheriff on him too- for killing one of her deer.

Stoopid peasant!

When something sounds too good to be true...

It probably isn't.

Like the story about the prison Priest who got over on the mullah on a prison religious conference.
You remember, he asked the mullah three questions about islam, and the mullah ended up speechless and hanging his head in shame?


Well, I asked Snopes about him, and got the answer.......along with a Liberal corollary.

Dogblogging

Goliath likes peanut butter




So does Scooter, but the Nikon software ate his pic.

We think Goliath will live up to his name, because he's starting to look 'Dane"ish.


Does anyone watch "Lost"? Doesn't Ben kinda remind you opf someone? Like DR. Moreau? or Dr. Mengela?

Can you believe a Democrat came up with this?

A nice little political game
But I'll play it.

One of the members of the Texas Leg. has put forth a bill to suspend the Texas .20/gal state tax for the summer in order to give their citizens a break. And the house voted to approve it! Not ALL of our Dems here in Texas are complete Communists.

Ok, I'll go for it.
I know it won't get passed, just like the one last year didn't get passed.
Can't give up that free money, ya know.
Besides it's only .20/gal... which is only an extra 5.20 out of Kurt's wallet when he fills his tank up twice (or three times) a week. Plus the 3.80 each of the three times Karen fill her truck.
Yeah, Kurt and Karen don't need that $20 bill every week, besides WE know how to spend it better than them.

Chit, they'd probably use it to put MORE gas in their trucks instead of spending $18 million on rehabbing ONE rest stop on I-10.


Ohh, as long as we're talking about Texans and money here.
I hope none of y'all left any personal information last time you were in
EZ Pawn.
If you did, you REALLY need to check your accounts...

Y'all know I'm looking at small trucks

Specifically I'm looking for small cheep trucks with A/C.

It dawned on me that if I got one of them it would probably have the old R-12 (freon) system in it, and I'll have to convert it over to R-134.

When is the last time since they banned R-12 that you've heard about the Ozone hole?
The thinning Ozone layer?

Ok, did we fix it? or did the greenies get their way with bogus science, and then swept the story under the rug?
If we still have the problem, it wasn't Freon- was it? If the Ozone is growing back, shouldn't we have heard something about it?



Just wondering, be interesting to hear your ideas.

Position open

We will soon have at least 60 openings in our elite crowd control unit.

Benefits include

• As much overtime as you can handle
• Retraining in your chosen field
• Personal interaction with those that control your career
• Constantly changing job tasking
• A chain of command who works for the best P.R. control around
• You could be a nationwide TV star.
• Plenty of chance for promotion if you can toe the ever changing PC line.

Yes, that's what you'll be seeing in the LA Times soon.

Actually, there should be openings for several thousand replacements as the current occupants decide that they're done being scape-goats for doing their jobs -by a politically expedient police department. Who'd rather throw them under the bus than get bad PR from the media flacks.

Rrrrrrrrucy! Ju got some 'splainin to do,,,

About this B.S. from the leading Dems.

R.J. Reynolds launched the brand in February. It says the cigarettes are aimed at adult female smokers, a market segment where Camel has performed poorly.

But anti-smoking groups and others have argued that the product - from its name, which recalls an upscale perfume, to the packaging to the ads - appears designed to lure teens or young women. The cigarettes come in black boxes with a border of teal or fuchsia. They're advertised in women's magazines under the slogan "Light and Luscious," on textured paper adorned with images of red roses and lace.

"Camel No. 9 cigarettes are being advertised to appeal to teenage girls' desire to be 'chic' and 'cosmopolitan' ... Teenage girls are especially vulnerable to this kind of advertising pitch," said Friday's letter from the five Democrats to FTC Chairman Deborah Platt Majoras.

"We believe it is time for the FTC to step in to protect our nation's teenagers from cigarettes, a product that kills one-third of its users."

The letter, which came a day after The Associated Press wrote about criticism of the ads, was e-mailed to the AP by the office of Sen. Frank Lautenberg of New Jersey, who initiated it. It was also signed by Sens. Tom Harkin of Iowa, Sherrod Brown of Ohio, Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts and Illinois' Dick Durbin, according to Lautenberg's office.

~snip...money quote~

The debate over the Camel campaign comes amid a renewed push for federal regulation of tobacco. A bipartisan group of lawmakers has reintroduced legislation that would give the Food and Drug Administration the authority over tobacco products that it has over many other consumer products.


Ok, so they want to keep kids from smoking? Great!
Doesn't anyone with the I.Q. greater than a clam KNOW that cigarettes are bad for you? ...Ooops, obviously not the juries that award millions to people who started smoking AFTER the warnings were all over the place.

So they're going to do exactly what to change a teens indestructible, and shortsighted outlook on life?

In Texas you have to LOOK 27 before they stop carding you for smokes. There are scary warnings all over the cigarette tobacco areas that tell you that you're going to jail and get a huge fine if you so much as THINK about supplying a teen with a coffin nail.

How are these geniuses going to stop kids from smoking.
Guess what you over-educated moral dictators, they're KIDS. As long as the cool kids do it, it'll BE cool. There's nothing you can do to stop it.

Stolen from Steel.

Are y'all ready for this one?

She looks cute enough -(and white enough) to be the next 24/7 missing-babe-all-the-time story of the week.

PLAINFIELD, Ill. — Police in Plainfield, Ill., are investigating the disappearance of a mother who has been missing since Monday.

Authorities said that so far there are no signs of foul play.

Lisa Stebic, 37, of Plainfield — an upscale community 20 miles west of Chicago — was last seen early Monday evening.

Her husband, 41-year-old Craig Stebic, said he was working in the backyard and their young children were out when his wife disappeared, according to The Chicago Tribune.

"I can't see her leaving her kids," Craig Stebic told the Tribune. "She's a good mother. She'd do anything for her kids."

Look at the pic,,,am I wrong?
Jaded?
Just a cold hearted s.o.b?

Ok, you mommies out there

Here's something for the kids room...


All I have to say is "don't ask, don't tell".

BWAHahahah

A blogger joining my blogroll is talking about his brand-spankin'-new son.
and the clean-up...

I can’t even get my son to empty the trash once a week and his diapers are two thirds of what we throw away now; except for the really soiled ones which I’m burying in the backyard in an attempt to recycle them as fertilizer for the herb garden. The idea will work too if I can just get the dogs to stop digging them back up and using them for chew toys.

Ohh, yes son- just wait until you have kids of your own....

(UPDATE)
Link is fixed.

One for the girlzz

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Today America celebrates a holiday that was imported from a third world country, because they are either too lazy, or stupid to assimilate in America. Just days after they took to the streets DEMANDING their civil rights. I guess, since they didn't DO anything to earn them, they gained the right through osmosis.

We have the MSM talking about this wonderful holiday, and what it means to America (WTF?) and how to celebrate it. Yahoo has their little Cinco de Mayo gif on their home page.

Naturally, seeing money to be made, Hallmark came out with a line of C.d.M, cards.
I wonder if they're in English? So we have more people celebrating C.d.M. than we do Veterans Day.

Nice.

I wonder when El Presidente Booosh is going to declare it an American holliday,,,,since the Mexicans are doing the celebration the Americans don't.

Counting down.......3.........2........1

Ok, the blogfest is probably setteling down ot a dull roar.

Untill ol' Cap. loosens the liquer chest and starts handing out his Key Lime Pie shooters.

I don't know the others personally.
I will tomorrow- or Sun. when I/we make it up to Kerrville.

I'll be bringing the jerky- two varieties (teryiaki and pepper) and some of the arsonal- both Black powder pistols, the .22 and 30-06 rifles for the serious masochists.

Y'all have fun up there, and Erica? Get some sleep.

As long as I'm on the hot Conservative babe videos

Here's one I just threw together:



I was going to do it after her last "offensive" comments, but didn't have the time.
So, just bookmark it for the next time everyone gets their undies in a bundle because Ann said what she said,,,which is usually ALOT milder than most Libs get a pass on.




Sorry for the crappy quality on some of the pics, but I forgot to re size them before sending them over to moviemaker.

Is ther e ANYTHING besides Miami in S.E. Florida?

I mean the greater Miami area, all 15 miles deep and 60 miles long.

I just got offed a utility locate job there for $28.50/hr, so I figured buy an RV and rent a spot.
Except that all the RV parks I could find are in the city- somewhere, and they want an average of $650/mo lot rent.
I don't want to BUY the d@mmed thang! That's what the lower end of apartments are going for.
I'd buy an RV and locate it out in the swamp wetlands, but I can't find anything west of Miami in commuting distance.

They have an opening in Seattle, too- but that has an actual winter.
And the housing costs are out the roof there, too.
And it's full of Libs.

Gawd, aren't I lucky

I've been selected to preview the "NEWEST" and "MOST IMPROVED" version of e-bay motors.
It sucks!
It's not easy to actually *find* what you're looking for.

They include the menu at the top of EVERY frigging page.
You can't click on say an SUV icon and expect to actually go to the page that SELLS them, it takes you to a page TELLING you about them.

You have to copy and past what you want to look at in the search bar.
Then, does it take you where you want to go?
NO! It takes you to a page that sells frigging EVERYTHING with the search word in it.


And you keep going through the frigging options untill you FINALLY get to where you want to go. Almost...


Gahhhh,,,,,if I wanted another set of monthly payments, I'd go to buy one from a dealer...but that's another set of hassels, isn't it?



I guess the new e-bay isn't so bad in comparison to car salesmen, after all.

(UPDATE)
I just looked at the laptop and got a lot BIGGER selection than this one, you'd think that the data base would be the same at least, wouldn't you?

So, I hear that the Iraqi leg. is taking a vacation

All I hear from the usual places is that they have the huzpah to taks TWO WHOLE months off!

In the middle of a war!
While our toops are fighting for them!

Because they don't take the war seriously enough!

It's a good thing they aren't as serious as OUR congress.

I may be wrong, but haven't they pretty much been trying to actually hammer out a government almost non-stop for like, two years. While terrorists continue to try to blow them up every chance they get?

I wonder if they get a cool quarter mil per year with every perk you could think of?

Hamm-ing it up

to a Dr. Seus-ish reading.











Stolen from Bushwack!

Thanks Libs

And the enviro-Nazis that you love.

Gas prices are going through the roof.
You got the mandatory ethanol added to gas.

Now the price of corn is going through the roof, and so is meat- because YOU caused the corn shortage.

Now, remind me again---WHO is for the 'little guy"?

I can't even find a P.O.S. small truck for under $2500 that I'd think of buying.


Thanks for making keeping us so reliant on volatile foreign oil supplies.

Everyone who isn't independently wealthy -or on some kind of government subsidy really appreciates how well you're looking out for us.


(UPDATE)
...And speaking if Libs having their heads completely up their @sses...
The y want to outlaw using safe, effective and cheap incandescent light bulbs in favor of the minutely more efficient compact fluorescent bulbs.

The are a lot more expensive just to buy, and the energy savings over the life might break even with incandescent.

Except if you break one. Then it'll cost about $2000 U.S. in clean-up costs, plus all the extra energy burned to have all the hazmat equipment come to your house, AND completely refurnishing your daughters room because of the mercury poisoning.

Chicken hawk!

What it the definition of a Chicken Hawk? Or is it War hawk?
I forget with all these codewords.

Anyway, I read a link to craigslist from someone claiming to be ex-military who went on a rant against G. Bush, because HE killed her husband in Iraq.

I'd fisk it, but ANYONE who's been around Marines knows that they'd *never* refer to themselves as a soldier.

I guess That I needn't mention which basion of patriotism it was posted from, do I?



Anyway, H/T to GS

Remember the Haditha Marines accused of murder?

It was supposed to be the modern day version of MyLai.
The Legacy media flogged it like a rented mule, until even they got tired of hearing about it.

In case you've forgotten- the terrorists and their allies on the left waited over a day to decide that the Marines had killed innocent people.
Then, as in the case of Jennifer Lynch, the Media puppets began to distort the truth; and George Booosh's government AGAIN put more weight on the words of Americas enemies than the people who took an oath to defend her.

Except that the governments railroad job is falling apart. This time.

...
Although the prosecutors said they needed more time to prepare their cases, there is much more to the story than that NewsMax.com has learned, and it paints a shocking picture of a prosecution that should never have been pursued.

In a nutshell, the case exploded when an intelligence officer dropped a bombshell on prosecutors during a pre-hearing interview when he revealed the existence of exculpatory evidence that appears to have been obtained by the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS) and withheld from the prosecutors.

This officer, described by senior Marine Corps superiors as one of the best and most dedicated intelligence officers in the entire Marine Corps, was in possession of evidence which provided a minute-by-minute narrative of the entire day's action — material which he had amassed while monitoring the day's action in his capacity as the battalion's intelligence officer. That material, he says, was also in the hands of the NCIS.

Much of that evidence remains classified, but it includes videos of the entire day's action, including airstrikes against insurgent safe houses. Also included was all of the radio traffic describing the ongoing action between the men on the ground and battalion headquarters, and proof that the Marines were aware that the insurgents conducting the ambush of the Kilo Company troops were videotaping the action — the same video that after editing ended up in the hands of a gullible anti-war correspondent for Time magazine.

When asked by the prosecution team to give his copies of the evidence to the prosecution, he told NewsMax.com that he was reluctant to do so, fearing it would again be suppressed or misused, but later relented when ordered by his commanding general to do so.

Confronted by the massive mounds of evidence that Marine Corps sources tell NewsMax proves conclusively that the cases against the Haditha Marines are baseless, the prosecutors were forced to postpone the Article 31 against Lt. Col. Chessani and two of the enlisted men in an attempt to regroup.

By granting immunity to the officer on the scene of the house-clearing effort, the prosecution, lawyers say, has further weakened its case.

... (my bolding)

Kinda like Bush's prostitutors are doing with anyone accused by our enemies, weather they're in the Mid-east or on out southern borders.
Too bad the Law on the border can't get any help from the Boosh administration, either.

So I'm hearing about the foiled Saudi oilfield attack

Planned by Al Quaida...using planes to attack Saudi oil fields.

Which naturally jacked up the price of oil. But, so would King Abdullah farting wrong.

Anyway, I'm wondering if El Presidante Booosh (in the midst of kissing Mexican @ss) can't use his current unpopularity with the Dems to just say "DRILL!"
Because we have plenty of known reserves in the contiguoius United States that aren't being used because the eco Nazis self loathing Libs Communistic Democrats self sacrificing naturalists that make up the Left want unspoiled wilderness that NOBODY (except petroleum engineers) will ever see.
Because protecting a postage size spot in a boundless expance is more important than cheap less expensive and abundant oil that's not held hostage by their Islamo-fasceist co-plotters.

And most importantly, they (the Left) can't hate him any more for helping the 'poor' by lowereing their fuel bills.

.

.

Except that they have Huey down in Venezuala to do that for them, don't they?

A job right up my alley

I'd need to stock up on ice though.....

SUMMER CAMP JOBS - Spend your summer working at an all girl (ages 7-17) camp in the beautiful hill country approximately 90 miles west of San Antonio. We need people who enjoy the outdoors and have experience working at camp with children. Positions available include: Nurse, Arts & Crafts Director, Kitchen Helpers, Water Front Director, Assistant Water Front Director, and Instructors for swimming and riding, Cook and Counselors, Room and board and training. To apply , call (210) 349-xxxx or send resume to: GSSAA, ATTN: Becky Xxxxxx, P.O. Box 7xxx, San Antonio, TX

Yep, let me be responsible for the 17-yr-olds at the swimmin' hole.




Pics when I get the job.


Except that it's, like illegal to post them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Sorry, no sharing.

My wife want's everyone to get their fair share

She send me this from the San Antonio Craigslist.
Because she's British (ok, Welsh,,,) and want's to let people know just how badly they feel for imposing their way of life on the world.

International Coalition for British Reparations needs internet help
Reply to: breparations@gmail.com
Date: 2007-03-29, 2:14PM CDT


The ICBR is looking for people to spread awareness in an effort to get Britain to pay for the evil crimes they have committed over the last 500 years. For info on how you can make England pay $8,350 to every non Britain of the world, email breparations@gmail.com.




* it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 302639038

The newest breakthrough in making leasure enjoyable

I just got almost done with my new site.

Tell me what you think.

No, look at it, and send as many people over there as you can...THEN tell me what you think.

I think this could work, it's not Walmart cheap, but it's not "that" expensive either.

Oh, hi! Yes I'm still here

Just have appointments and am trying to get the prototype of the pool cooler done so I can shop it around.
And send pictures to a pool manufacturer.

Along with trying to make a website and fliers, that actually look like I'm not a complete mouth breathing moron.

I'm still trying to get a name, I'm thinking about these...

Cool Pool
Polar Pool
Polar Blue

I kinda want to stay away from the Arctic stuff because penguines aren't as cool as Polar bears.

"Me no Alamo!" "Me no Goliad!"

Today is the day that Texas defeated Mexican President Santa Anna at the Battle of San Jacinto.

The Texians took Genrallissamo Santa Annas troops completely off guard because it is rummored, a Free black woman, Emily Morgan, was responsible for Santa Anna's unguardeness. She is who is sung about in this song.

The battle lasted 18 minutes, but the chase lasted hours.

To ad an historical note that has been removed by the PC revisionists; when Santa Anna was caught, he was wearing womens clothing.

Ladies and gentlemen...

I give you our next President!




Stolen from Erica.