Our story resumes...

"Corpse men"

The cast
Part one
Part two
Part three


-Sir Melchett to see you m'lord.











-Yes, I've been expecting him. Show him in Baldric.











-Adder, I've just come from the Queens office and she is not happy about the Torries ending our super majority, but still wants this bill passed.








-I know, so does the Prince, and I have a waiting list to serve on those death panels that are in the House of Lords bill.










-And my cousin has has a chance to be one the corpse men- the caller: "Bring out your dead".










- Oh Gawd Baldric your breath smells like shite.











-I'm making shite soup Sire, I found some nice fixings on the road today.










-Anyway Melchett, there is a way called reconciliation.
It would have to work like this: Both houses would need to approve the House of Lords version as is- No changes whatsoever. then it goes to the Queens desk for her signature...








-But then the Upper House version becomes law with all the bribes, kickbacks and backroom deals that made it such a clusterflop.








-Yes, but with the assurance of the speaker of Lords, *I* have a promise and a letter promising that once it's been signed into law- that both houses will work to change it.
We then attach it to the bill allowing the further shipment of criminals to Australia. which as you know only requires a 51% aye vote.







-That is a cunning plan, and we can include something for Big Alchemy in it as well- their contribution was a bit late, something about a lead shortage.








-Your Lordships, may I ask a question?











*Sigghh*

-What is it Baldric?









-I'm a sub-moron who can't count to five, I eat shite soup and think owning a turnip is a big thing. Even I can see that once the bill from the Upper house passes that those Lords have no reason to change it, why would they?








-Because Baldric, they promised they would...AND they signed a promissory note.









-I hate to disagree with my betters, but they are Liberal politicians whose only use for something written has a Pound sign on it with lots of zeros behind it- and a promise lasts only as long as it takes to get their vote.








-Baldric, you're a simpleminded imbecile. This bill means too much for both houses, the Banks of England, France and Switzerland and many highly placed leaders in the medical field.









-Just let us do the thinking for you Baldric, we're the aristocracy and know what's in your best interest better than you.

....And now a bit of modern Anglophilia

To give you a break from machinations of politics.
Straight from the Beeb comic relief,,,and all the creepy cartoon stuff from your nightmares:




Yes that was Dr. Who amid the freakish animated icons and midgets.

Meanwhile, back at the Palace...

"Corpse men"

The cast
Part one
Part two
Part three


-How will we ever get this unpopular bill passed now?










-We'll find a way. There has to be a back door to pass this. It's your signature accomplishment.
You know that there will be a November election uprising against Labour if we get this passed using political tricks.







-I DON'T CARE! We have far to many of the wrong kind of Labour Lords sitting in Parliament anyway. Because you got them elected.








-We needed to load Parliament so we could pass as many of your policies as possible.
We've had the supermajority needed to push Britain as far left as we have already.







-It's not far enough! We had an enormous contribution from the Leech Farmers Association to get this bill passed. Also, my cousin owns a mercury mine.








-Very well, I'll consult with the archivist to find a way.

Corpse men

"Corpse men"

The cast
Part one
Part two
Part three


I say Adder, have you seen these figures on the plague?
People are dropping left and right.

Like flies.










Yes I have you Lordship, and it's not only the peasants this time either.
Those who have access to the best medical minds in England are dying too.









Do we know anything about it?











Or better yet, how much we can wring out of this to help your political fortunes...










Sire, Mr. Adder- William Pitt, the younger is here to see you.












What does he want Baldric?












He wants to discuss the meaning of the last election and you loss of Lord O' Kennedy's seat.










Very well, show him in.












Good day gentlemen. I shall be brief. As you know, Lord Browns election to the upper House puts your super majority in the books of history and we- the Loyal Opposition will do our best to halt your scandalous health initiative.








Oooh how feisty we are when one ekes out a bare majority in a meaningless election!
How quaint.









Lord Percy, that electoral split was almost exactly the same as when you held mock elections for Kingship and you declared it a huge mandate.









Yes, but that was then and this is now- besides we own all the printing presses and the town criers are all on the take.










We shall get our message out. Now good day to you both, I'll see myself out.














.............To be continued after a break for High Tea.............

...To the shores of Tripoli.

That second half of the Marine Corps Hymn happened this day in 1804. (That would be 'core'- Mr. President)

Navy Lt. Stephen Decatur lead a shore party into Tripoli harbor to fire the captured USS Philadelphia and then to spike the guns of the Bey of Algiers in our first unilateral invasion of a moslim country.

He's also the author of this often misquoted statement:
“Our country! In her intercourse with foreign nations, may she always be in the right; but our country, right or wrong”

One of the nice things about living in the sticks

is the fact that nature is all around you.

one of the bad things is that ature is all around you.

And nature is always looking for something better.
Including feral cats, possums and whatever else sees your house as a good hideout from the cold.

As you can tell by the timestamp, I just got back from taking care of a nature related incident. I don't know how many more of 'the family' are in my floor and don't want to slice up the rest of my insulation to find out.

One dead tom and I'll let the dogs cull the rest until I can want to get under the house and make it cat-proof.
...AND fix the holes they made.

-It's not a duct tape situation down there.

Color me surprised

I have The Discovery Channel, or one of the other 'sciency' channels.

They're exploring Venus, and it's atmosphere is almost completely CARBON DIOXIDE.
They have molten metal puddles, and UV rays out the @ss.

OK, I'm convinced. It's not the sun that causes global warming, it's the CO2...






I'm just glad that we're like 15 times as far away from the sun as Venus is.


AND we've obviously got less SUVs than they had.

In todays news round-up

We have many stories about the Vice President (Played by Bob Uecker) telling the world how Dick Cheney is rewriting history.

Over at Drudge there's a story about Greman citizens stopping a Neo-Nazi march in Dresden, with suitable flames in the pictures background.


IN Nice,France we have an accurate likeness of the Obama ego.

At least we can say Obama kept one of his pre-election pledges, because 55% of the Nethrelands are not under sea level any more.


One last story about suicide Smurfs.

Looking at all that snow in D.C.

And thinking about the Presidents newfound ... populus.
You know, showing he's just one of up pleebs.

Why is there no pictures of him making snowmen with his-----------






Oh!




Yeah, They'd be white.






m'K neveribd then.

Hanging yourself with your own rope

I'm sure everyone who's interested has seen the Glenn Beck Debbie Medina interview, in which he asked her straight out if she was a truther.

I was starting to lean towards giving her my vote until I heard her non-answer and her follow-up ...verbiage.
She didn't lose my vote because of her ambiguous answer -The facts aren't in yet,yatiyatiya.

It was her uninterutable rant that followed without letting Glenn get a word in edgewise.

She sounded exactly like those boorishly insufferable Libs that call radio talk shows and launch their monologues on whatever subject they lied about to get on.
You know the ones who drone on and on and on, until you change the channel or turn them off.

Now that she's shown her @ss, I wonder what will happen in the polls?
I couldn't find any taken after her GB moment, but I'm sure this gives Kay Bailey-Hutchinson a boost.

Not that KBH doesn't need to just go back to DC and do her thing there, because her attack ads on Perry just highlight her DeeCee actions as well.

Mandates from on high? Rick Perry stopped his HPV idea, but KBH sent Gawd knows how many unfunded mandates to the states.

Insider deals? Do you *really* want to go there KBH?

Perry trying to get re-elected again? KBH has been in DC for 17 years worth of six year terms- in spite of her promise to only serve ----two.

TxDOT and wasted money? KBH voted FOR the stimulus bill AND TARP and the plus side of 17 years worth of bloated Federal budget AND the pork that went with it.

Want to go on Kay? How about your vote FOR Amnesty when you thought no one was looking.

How many bills have you voted on without reading the? I know you don't have anyone reading your e-mails.


I guess the default vote is for Rick Perry - although Debbie Medina was a good idea.

I used to own a Dodge Ram

It was a '98 SLT 1500.
The best truck I ever owned, and when I could afford it again- I was going to buy another.

Then they sold out to the UAW under the bailout. Which was bad enough.
THEN the Lawyers and their ever so populous PR flacks went after a High School for pirating their RAM logo.

I can understand copyright infringement- and I don't have a degree....Mr. H.S. Principal (and his Board of Education), but I also understand the value of (badly needed)positive publicity Chrysler.

The magical debt cure

In this scene, we have a clueless, spendthrift leader trying to find a way out of massive debt without cutting spending.


The cast:

Prince George- Spendthrift heir to the throne and never met an improvident taxpayer burden he didn't like.








Baldrick- humble servant and source of many ides for the Prince.

















Edmund Blackadder- The voice of what could be called reason in the intellectually unstable palace, all the while scheming for power and pelf.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Oh dear!
I say Adder, have you seen the new debt figures? It's atrocious! Who could be responsible for this?
Can you count all those zeros? Maybe the scribe had a seizure and couldn't stop making zeros?



Yes I've seen them your Lordship. Unfortunately it's a necessary evil on our fight to outspend the financial meltdown we inherited from the previous crown. Our stimulus plan has greatly rushed forward many needed infrastructure repairs.
For example There was a new moat dug and enlarged spillways added for boiling oil in the parapets of Castle Adder.





And I got a turnip!






















Ah! That's all well and good, but if we can't drop some of those zeros, why- the Bank of Britain will revoke our credit chad.









I have a cunning plan your Lordship.
Why not increase the tax on cigarettes by a Pound a pack?













































That's genius, Baldrick.
How shall I reward your ingenious Idea?













A bushel of turnips would be lovely my Lord.






















*And I can see the necessity of a castle in the south of France when the peasants finally revolt*

Well done, I'll tell the sheriffs the good news- starting in Nottingham.

Fun with e-mails

This site is hilarious.
I don't know if they're real e-mail exchanges or he makes them up, but I LOLed and ROTFLMAO and almost even PMLOLin.




Via Rob.

You know what to do

Roberta mentioned getting a movement started in the post before she shows how well she fills out her jacket.

So copy and paste this:

You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant.

Here.

What is it now? 0 for 4?

Barrys touch went from Midas to Thantos in less than a year.

Three blown elections and now his pick for the Colts.

Hey, did he visit Murtha on his sickbed too? Tell him: "Jack, don't worry about a thing- I'll put in a good word for you." And now the House has a new opening waiting on the Governors appointee.
I guess that might be stretched to 0-4-1 since Rendell is a Dem and Obama hasn't lost THAT seat yet.

I don't know what is going on in the blogworld because I just got home from working on Holy ground, troubleshooting parking lights at Denny's in preparation for their free breakfast.

They have some F*CKED up wiring there.
(maybe pics later)

Lastly- my earworm from back to back episodes of BBCA's "Demons":

Some things you just can't forget

Call them mind ticks for lack of a better term.

Like Robs envelope math that says a $400- $1500 gun barrel only has a useful life of about five seconds.

Being deliberately buried alive by your own family must be the worst way to die.
I can't even imagine it.

How remote and sanitary it seems that those WWII air battles appear until you see them close up and real.

there are three reasons

That I won't bother watching the Superbowl today.

The pregame show.

The Saints.

I have a toilet that is looking kinda grungy.

Someone stirred up a bit of a chitstorm last week.

I don't know exactly why.
Maybe it was a needed props to His lunatic Leftist base.
Maybe it was a needed distraction to His failing administration.

But when Barry decided to get into the DADT thing- he really opened thing up.

The older I get, the less I'm worried about DADT and the intervening years have probably mellowed the opposition with the younger guys.

But when I open a blog that's absolutely in your face about it (It's OVER- grow a pair and GET OVER IT!!!) I just automatically go back to the default settings.

I think, though that in reality- it's not so much about unit cohesion and discipline, and not so much about moral problems as the simple fact of 'good gay' VS 'bad gay'.

Even LabRat who got alot of it started admits that she's less skeezed about showering with an open lez than she'd be with a guy that she's not interested in.

Ther have been quite a few posts (that I can't link to because I can't remember where I saw them) that have made a good case for less homo.... ummm apartheid... than outright bans (and phobia).

I don't, and I bet that a majority of conservatives don't really have a problem with a .gov policy of recognizing a committed same sex relationship as long as it's *not* called MARRIAGE.

The same thing with DADT- it's one thing watching THIS (nsfw image) in the barracks and a completely different thing than seeing THIS (nsfw) in the shower.

Right?

Lost in translation

A Pakistani diplomat has a name that translates into one of a pr{}n star when translated into Arabic.
Naturally he won't be able to become the diplomat to Saudi, and as I vaguely remember other Arabic countries.

I mean can you imagine this scene every time he's introduced to a new leader?


UPDATE:
Caeser is wearing a pr{}no womans titty harnes isn't he?

Tell me if I'm wrong here

Dems control both houses of Congress. They have since 2008.
Someone on the Left has used their higher IQ and cognitive powers to discover that in some convoluted way (lack of a certain parentage of melanin) the U.S. Senate is going to be black minority free after Roland Burris (D-Illinois Token) is replaced by another white guy.

The fact that there are Asians, Latinos and women don't matter.
Somehow, I think, they're trying to make a point that it's the Republicans fault that the majority party of Democrats don't have enough blacks for some mathematically developed quota.

"One of the reasons why it's difficult for minorities, especially blacks, to win statewide is the cost of campaigns," she said. "It takes millions of dollars to run a Senate campaign."
OK, Democrats- step up and help a brother.

Of course we all know you won't because most of you are secret admirers of some outgrowth of the Klan, and still are working to keep the black man down and then laying t off on the stupid party who you know won't fight back.

Just FYI Barry...

It's not pronounced how TOTUS spells it.

It's pronounced *core-man*, not corpse man.



But maybe we've been pronouncing it wrong all this time, Him being an Ivy League grad and the smartest and most eloquent negro America has ever seen...



H/T to MataHarly @Flopping Aces who I'll be putting on the blogroll soon.

Just how long

Does it take a dog to digest veggies?

Yesterday Scooter (the fluffy one) horked up two carrots from the roast we had on Tuesday.

This morning, Goliath (the smart one) upped an unmarked chunk of potato and a carrot from the same feeding.

Those horrid, poisonous onions didn't affect them at all- as per all my other dogs I have given since I never heard until reacently that they were POISON to dogs!!!!!

(Not you Sabra- I learned that from the dust-up about Racael Raes dogfood recipe.)
[ZOMYGAWD *onions!* she'll KILL every canine that even smells that dish,,,,quick call PETA!!!!!eleven!!!]

Craigslist.org and the Liberal agenda

Is pretty well ecapsulated in their scam warnings.

Really. Go to craigslist.org and get your city (or town).
Look for jobs in their job section and you'll get a scam warning.

OK? Now drop down to the desperate people looking for "anything" like [Part Time] jobs or [ETC] jobs...much less the GIGS...
...and when you open it,,,, there ARE no scam warnings...

Why?
I thought all Libs (And this sight puts a peace sign on youe bookmarks)were out to help "the little guy" against those evile corporatons,,, or something.
So now we have legitimate want ads inturrupted by warnings,,,and the ones that are most suspect..without any warnngs at all...


(Kinda like someone got tired of cutting and pasting code?)

I wonder how someone in DeeCee is going to bring that around to be able to blame THAT on Bush, too?

LoL worthy

I know it's been making the rounds, but still it's never too early to give the kids a healthy fear of clowns.

Where have I heard this before?

Fertile soil is being lost faster than it can be replenished and will eventually lead to the “topsoil bank” becoming empty, an Australian conference heard.

Chronic soil mismanagement and over farming causing erosion, climate change and increasing populations were to blame for the dramatic global decline in suitable farming soil, scientists said.

An estimated 75 billion tonnes of soil is lost annually with more than 80 per cent of the world's farming land "moderately or severely eroded", the Carbon Farming conference heard.

A University of Sydney study, presented to the conference, found soil is being lost in China 57 times faster than it can be replaced through natural processes.

In Europe that figure is 17 times, in America 10 times while five times as much soil is being lost in Australia.

Soil is also a valuable store of carbon and can release the greenhouse gas if it is ploughed or dug up.

The conference heard world soil, including European and British soils, could vanish within about 60 years if drastic action was not taken.


And the money quote:
This will lead to a global food crisis, chronic food shortages and higher prices, the conference heard.

Now, where could I have read that before,,,,back when I was in High School.

Oh, the humanity...

Ladies, think of the men before you try this.

Really, unless you have seriously abnormal breasts, this is not the way to go.
It would reduce the natural bounce and softness, replaced by a cone of hardware cloth inside your frankenboob.

And what about the guys who actually like saggy boobs?

Porcupines in S. Africa?

For some reason I always thought they were a North American species.

I guess they're native in S. Africa, too.