Thursday, February 11, 2010

The magical debt cure

In this scene, we have a clueless, spendthrift leader trying to find a way out of massive debt without cutting spending.

The cast:

Prince George- Spendthrift heir to the throne and never met an improvident taxpayer burden he didn't like.

Baldrick- humble servant and source of many ides for the Prince.

Edmund Blackadder- The voice of what could be called reason in the intellectually unstable palace, all the while scheming for power and pelf.


Oh dear!
I say Adder, have you seen the new debt figures? It's atrocious! Who could be responsible for this?
Can you count all those zeros? Maybe the scribe had a seizure and couldn't stop making zeros?

Yes I've seen them your Lordship. Unfortunately it's a necessary evil on our fight to outspend the financial meltdown we inherited from the previous crown. Our stimulus plan has greatly rushed forward many needed infrastructure repairs.
For example There was a new moat dug and enlarged spillways added for boiling oil in the parapets of Castle Adder.

And I got a turnip!

Ah! That's all well and good, but if we can't drop some of those zeros, why- the Bank of Britain will revoke our credit chad.

I have a cunning plan your Lordship.
Why not increase the tax on cigarettes by a Pound a pack?

That's genius, Baldrick.
How shall I reward your ingenious Idea?

A bushel of turnips would be lovely my Lord.

*And I can see the necessity of a castle in the south of France when the peasants finally revolt*

Well done, I'll tell the sheriffs the good news- starting in Nottingham.

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