Fun with e-mails

This site is hilarious.
I don't know if they're real e-mail exchanges or he makes them up, but I LOLed and ROTFLMAO and almost even PMLOLin.




Via Rob.

You know what to do

Roberta mentioned getting a movement started in the post before she shows how well she fills out her jacket.

So copy and paste this:

You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant.

Here.

What is it now? 0 for 4?

Barrys touch went from Midas to Thantos in less than a year.

Three blown elections and now his pick for the Colts.

Hey, did he visit Murtha on his sickbed too? Tell him: "Jack, don't worry about a thing- I'll put in a good word for you." And now the House has a new opening waiting on the Governors appointee.
I guess that might be stretched to 0-4-1 since Rendell is a Dem and Obama hasn't lost THAT seat yet.

I don't know what is going on in the blogworld because I just got home from working on Holy ground, troubleshooting parking lights at Denny's in preparation for their free breakfast.

They have some F*CKED up wiring there.
(maybe pics later)

Lastly- my earworm from back to back episodes of BBCA's "Demons":

Some things you just can't forget

Call them mind ticks for lack of a better term.

Like Robs envelope math that says a $400- $1500 gun barrel only has a useful life of about five seconds.

Being deliberately buried alive by your own family must be the worst way to die.
I can't even imagine it.

How remote and sanitary it seems that those WWII air battles appear until you see them close up and real.

there are three reasons

That I won't bother watching the Superbowl today.

The pregame show.

The Saints.

I have a toilet that is looking kinda grungy.

Someone stirred up a bit of a chitstorm last week.

I don't know exactly why.
Maybe it was a needed props to His lunatic Leftist base.
Maybe it was a needed distraction to His failing administration.

But when Barry decided to get into the DADT thing- he really opened thing up.

The older I get, the less I'm worried about DADT and the intervening years have probably mellowed the opposition with the younger guys.

But when I open a blog that's absolutely in your face about it (It's OVER- grow a pair and GET OVER IT!!!) I just automatically go back to the default settings.

I think, though that in reality- it's not so much about unit cohesion and discipline, and not so much about moral problems as the simple fact of 'good gay' VS 'bad gay'.

Even LabRat who got alot of it started admits that she's less skeezed about showering with an open lez than she'd be with a guy that she's not interested in.

Ther have been quite a few posts (that I can't link to because I can't remember where I saw them) that have made a good case for less homo.... ummm apartheid... than outright bans (and phobia).

I don't, and I bet that a majority of conservatives don't really have a problem with a .gov policy of recognizing a committed same sex relationship as long as it's *not* called MARRIAGE.

The same thing with DADT- it's one thing watching THIS (nsfw image) in the barracks and a completely different thing than seeing THIS (nsfw) in the shower.

Right?

Lost in translation

A Pakistani diplomat has a name that translates into one of a pr{}n star when translated into Arabic.
Naturally he won't be able to become the diplomat to Saudi, and as I vaguely remember other Arabic countries.

I mean can you imagine this scene every time he's introduced to a new leader?


UPDATE:
Caeser is wearing a pr{}no womans titty harnes isn't he?

Tell me if I'm wrong here

Dems control both houses of Congress. They have since 2008.
Someone on the Left has used their higher IQ and cognitive powers to discover that in some convoluted way (lack of a certain parentage of melanin) the U.S. Senate is going to be black minority free after Roland Burris (D-Illinois Token) is replaced by another white guy.

The fact that there are Asians, Latinos and women don't matter.
Somehow, I think, they're trying to make a point that it's the Republicans fault that the majority party of Democrats don't have enough blacks for some mathematically developed quota.

"One of the reasons why it's difficult for minorities, especially blacks, to win statewide is the cost of campaigns," she said. "It takes millions of dollars to run a Senate campaign."
OK, Democrats- step up and help a brother.

Of course we all know you won't because most of you are secret admirers of some outgrowth of the Klan, and still are working to keep the black man down and then laying t off on the stupid party who you know won't fight back.

Just FYI Barry...

It's not pronounced how TOTUS spells it.

It's pronounced *core-man*, not corpse man.



But maybe we've been pronouncing it wrong all this time, Him being an Ivy League grad and the smartest and most eloquent negro America has ever seen...



H/T to MataHarly @Flopping Aces who I'll be putting on the blogroll soon.

Just how long

Does it take a dog to digest veggies?

Yesterday Scooter (the fluffy one) horked up two carrots from the roast we had on Tuesday.

This morning, Goliath (the smart one) upped an unmarked chunk of potato and a carrot from the same feeding.

Those horrid, poisonous onions didn't affect them at all- as per all my other dogs I have given since I never heard until reacently that they were POISON to dogs!!!!!

(Not you Sabra- I learned that from the dust-up about Racael Raes dogfood recipe.)
[ZOMYGAWD *onions!* she'll KILL every canine that even smells that dish,,,,quick call PETA!!!!!eleven!!!]

Craigslist.org and the Liberal agenda

Is pretty well ecapsulated in their scam warnings.

Really. Go to craigslist.org and get your city (or town).
Look for jobs in their job section and you'll get a scam warning.

OK? Now drop down to the desperate people looking for "anything" like [Part Time] jobs or [ETC] jobs...much less the GIGS...
...and when you open it,,,, there ARE no scam warnings...

Why?
I thought all Libs (And this sight puts a peace sign on youe bookmarks)were out to help "the little guy" against those evile corporatons,,, or something.
So now we have legitimate want ads inturrupted by warnings,,,and the ones that are most suspect..without any warnngs at all...


(Kinda like someone got tired of cutting and pasting code?)

I wonder how someone in DeeCee is going to bring that around to be able to blame THAT on Bush, too?

LoL worthy

I know it's been making the rounds, but still it's never too early to give the kids a healthy fear of clowns.

Where have I heard this before?

Fertile soil is being lost faster than it can be replenished and will eventually lead to the “topsoil bank” becoming empty, an Australian conference heard.

Chronic soil mismanagement and over farming causing erosion, climate change and increasing populations were to blame for the dramatic global decline in suitable farming soil, scientists said.

An estimated 75 billion tonnes of soil is lost annually with more than 80 per cent of the world's farming land "moderately or severely eroded", the Carbon Farming conference heard.

A University of Sydney study, presented to the conference, found soil is being lost in China 57 times faster than it can be replaced through natural processes.

In Europe that figure is 17 times, in America 10 times while five times as much soil is being lost in Australia.

Soil is also a valuable store of carbon and can release the greenhouse gas if it is ploughed or dug up.

The conference heard world soil, including European and British soils, could vanish within about 60 years if drastic action was not taken.


And the money quote:
This will lead to a global food crisis, chronic food shortages and higher prices, the conference heard.

Now, where could I have read that before,,,,back when I was in High School.

Oh, the humanity...

Ladies, think of the men before you try this.

Really, unless you have seriously abnormal breasts, this is not the way to go.
It would reduce the natural bounce and softness, replaced by a cone of hardware cloth inside your frankenboob.

And what about the guys who actually like saggy boobs?

Porcupines in S. Africa?

For some reason I always thought they were a North American species.

I guess they're native in S. Africa, too.

I wonder if his parents know?

You know, working on his robogal in his parents attic.
(think Men in Black)

Anyway we know he's a Dr. Who fan who has a crush on Cathrine Tate.



...And yeah, he looks about how you'd expect him to.

Steam Punk!

In e-bay motors altenative fuel.



Oh...



.

.



Ok, then-all those kwel earthsaving electric vehicles!

And one just for Big Dick.

Siggghhh..................

I guess he forgot where he was...


But, then again her ancestors are from the Orient.


Maybe we should just nickname him,,,BOB.

So I went to Yahoo Answers yesterday

Just to be sure I was (as usual) in that window that absolutely NO tax change helps me out.
Yep it's still true, in order to get that $6500 homeowners tax credit, you need to live i the house ...ONE year more than we have so far.

Because most Americans are some kind of house flippers that you see on those Tee wee H&G shows..instead of people who want to actually OWN property where they WANT to.


AND that expanded child care credit= who just turned 18 and got married, and the other one that I make too much money anyway,,,

Yeah, ThanX Barry, you're really coming through on the bennies,
AND I still have to see how much extra we owe because 'someone' decided she didn't want to take out that extra $20 per week that the O-man wanted to scam everyone on about their tax credits.


Oh, and I can't answer ay questions becuse I rfuse to update my Fire Fox to the piot that I can't customise it the way i want.. . Because 'it's not supported'.
K,,,F-you yahoo ad the rest, i want a browser that I like and don't care what you want to force me to have.

Stretching for content

Every one who puts out something regularly needs content, true.

Mike Rowe at 'Dirty jobs' has fun asking for your dirty jobs.

HGTV has a new show that I'll probably not watch called 'The Outdoor Room' with some guy from Oz making ,,, man caves out doors- or something.

I question why? I work outside all day and when I get home, I want to be in the climate controlled, bug free house that I'm paying for.
I guess if you live somewhere that isn't over 100 in the shade- even at night, you may enjoy sitting outside getting eaten by mosquitoes.

I just can't see it from my point of view.

What if Russia says NO?

Because putting up a missile defense against rouge states is somehow being too aggressive.

You know, like we didn't do in POLAND because the Lightweight wanted to be friends with Putin. You know resetting relations with the Kremlin and all.

Just in passing

I have a rerun of Grahm Norton on with Sarah- the (ex)Dutchess of York as a guest.
She's there for...something, missed the first part, her Victoria and Albert movie...I guess.

She's showing a lot of leg.










And yes, in a heartbeat. A redheaded plumper- tell me you wouldn't.
Yeah, well except for the whole body freckles thing...

He gets it

But being as he's probably a Lib too (as are most IT geeks), probably can't make himself recognize it.

Adam Pash, one of the founders of Lifehacker writes an article on the Ipad, and some of the other I-things that are locked for your own good.

Jailbreaking! And certainly the iPad will see plenty of hacking, but only because Apple requires you to hack the device if you actually want control over it yourself. Apple's gotten into the habit of acting like you're renting hardware. They've become the all-powerful, over-restrictive, ambivalent IT person in the sky, restricting what users can and can't install on their hardware.

With a device like the iPhone, most people slowly accepted Apple's IT state over time. Apple's stance is basically that their lockdown is for your own good—they're protecting us from unstable apps, pornography, confusion, and other nasties. And for the most part, it worked, right? iPhones have remained fast, capable, strong-like-bull, and extremely popular.

Hmmmm....remind you of any certain ideology?
How about this?

What's dangerous about the iPad is that it's much closer to a "real" computer than the iPhone is. If you dock it with the keyboard accessory, it really is just a sort of low-powered franken-laptop. And yet this is a computer over which you have absolutely no control. And the question is: If we all continue to buy Apple's locked-down products hand-over-fist (Jobs went so far as to talk about Apple as a mobile device company yesterday), what reason does Apple have not to keep moving forward with that model—a model that, to many, is defective by design.

Apple's saying to consumers: "Trade in choice for a guarantee that this will work exactly as we designed it to, and you'll never be upset with a computer again." Unfortunately there's no reason to believe the trade is necessary. At the very best, it seems like Apple's extreme and obsessive control over what you're allowed to run on the iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch is maybe delaying the point at which your software demands outpace the hardware, but even that is debatable. With the iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch, you're trading choice and control in exchange for unsubstantiated promises.

Like I said, he's kind of skirting around this huge nanny state that in one part of his life, he's for- or at least ambivolant about.
Then when it comes down to the same nannyism directly infringing on his life, he doesn't like it at all.
Maybe there'a hope yet in some on the other side letting real life change their minds?

Budweiser without the Clydesdale's?

I heard that due to declining sales, that Bud was going to try boosting sales with another mascot.

Gee, you really think that people are tired of them enough to stop buying your beer?

How about this?

STOP raising the price every time I go to look at a six pack!

I'll never pay $6 for a six pack of Busch beer when I can get a $9.50 5 Liter box of wine.

But, then you got bought out by a bunch of Europeans and think price shouldn't matter if the coolness factor is there.

I smell a lawsuit

Not so much against the oil company that flooded the basement with #2fuel oil (diesel), but the company who converted then over to natural gas.

And FORGOT to cap off the old oil tank filler pipe.
I mean c'mon, that's just common sense- in case someone decides to try pumping 75 gallons of fuel oil into your newly finished basement, ya know....

Heard on the radio today

They were talking about Iphone apps.

They were talking about how useful they were.

Then the topping on the cake- some woman got pregnant by using an Iphone app to keep track of her cycles.

Then I thought 'you have to BUY a $400 phone for that?' What she doesn't have a computer at home? Or a calender?

Faze the nation

Because I feel your pain about every electronic media device being focused on The Won.


In order to make listening to the Narcissist in Chief a little less painful, I'm passing on a Barack BINGO card for y'all


Every time you hear one of those expressions you cover it with an emptied shot glass.


Link goes to a hotlink in full size stolen from Rusty.

When did it change?

I'm reading here about the Senate voting down a commission to basically make recommendations on cost cutting and 'revenue enhancements.'

“This bipartisan task force is the best and most realistic option for tackling our tremendous levels of debt,” Gregg said. “To discard it is a major setback for the future generations of Americans who will be left to pay down our debt at the expense of their standard of living and future economic growth.”

But others, such as Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), opposed the idea because the panel could have recommended revenue-increasing strategies such as higher taxes.

“I want a spending commission, and I worry that this commission could have gotten together and agreed to increase taxes,” said McCain. “Spending cuts are what we need. We don’t need to raise taxes."

Am *I* the misinformed one, or are those in the Senate taking over 'The Power of the Purse' from the House of Representatives...who have the Constitutional mandate of the purse.

The EotWAWKit

That's the end of the world as we know it.
Be it the Zombyclypse, the Obamaclypse, or any other...clypse on the horizon.
There's plenty of talk about guns, medical supplies, food and such.

BUT what about transportation?
In a zombieclyps, at least -if you can get the vehicle started, you can get out of Dodge.
What happens if we get hit with an EMP?
Have any of you survivalists thought about living without even being able to pump gas?
IF you can get that old '49 Chrysler running again since anything with printed circuits is going to be so dead it won't be worth a doorstop.
You guys with your new diesels, you're screwed too because unless you can find a way to bypass all that engine control crap that diesel won't even turn over. Then if you can get it to run you better hope it's a standard because that electronically controlled automatic is an oily anchor.

I don't know how basic you need to go to be workable after modern electronics are fried. Squirrel cage motors will probably work, Dales old gas compressors probably would. Your grandparents old RV Onan generator stands a good chance of working.
The power grid will be down because of the computerized switches and controls are stuck were they were when the flash went off.

Even if you could get power, those CFLs that congress wants to force you to buy probably wouldn't work.



Now that I've put you in a suitable mood- enjoy the LightWeight's speach tomorrow!

Adding to my Haiti rectaltude

I just want to say that those evil Juice are really kikking @ss in rescue operations.

Of course, they're just doing it to, like harvest body parts or something-- right Hamaas?