Note to self

Whenever we get the cash to build our next house-
DO NOT put the main TeeWee room next to the main (my) bedroom.
Especially since some people like to feel the sound.
A nice long sound absorbing hallway would work fine TYVM.

A letter to my new Congressman- Quiko Canseco

Firstly, congratulations on our win against the Democrat machine.

I realize that you're busy getting ready to assume our seat this January, but I have a suggestion for cutting about $7 BILLION from the budget- if you're interested.
The way I understand it- Muslims will now be allowed to check themselves for hidden weapons and explosives- because they object to body scans and full groping.

Since it was Muslims who forced us to do this futile security Kabuki- and we're not even touching them anymore- what reason do we have to keep throwing $7 BILLION away on something that's not needed?

Thank you for your time,
Kurt P
Hondo, TX

As much as the Left hates Sarah Palin

And I admit that I love the way they fly into a rug chewing rage whenever she's mentioned. I mean doncha just know that she's something they fear by the way they get all weewee'd up about her?

Anyway, she's got a new show out...and that muffled thump you thought you heard yesterday?
That was Lefties heads exploding when they found out that 5,000,000 Americans tuned in to watch her.

What I AM surprised about, though is the lack of Leftists criticism about this picture:


Notice anything?

If not, I'll leave the answer in the comments.

Well, it's a good thing they have unemployment insurance

Because that's about all the compassion I can dig up for those thousands of Democrat minions who lost their jobs on Nov. second.
Because of the way they helped shove all that detested legislation down Americas throat

According to that Liberal rag Politico which was probably gloating back when the Republicans lost in 2008- We're supposed to feel bad for congressional aides that have served their masters for decades and are now unexpectedly out of a gravy job.

Hey, as long as you can influence legislation, you need to make sure that new 99 months of unemployment is passed- since you'll be needing it in this economy you caused.

How's that for compassion?

But positions on the Hill have largely evaporated. K Street and other areas will be oversaturated with applications. The Obama administration, which was a gold mine for jobs in 2008, will have far fewer openings, experts say.

For now, some outgoing Democratic aides are asking for compassion from their Republican colleagues.

“What bothers me now is there is a lot of insensitivity to the plight of these people who are losing their jobs. Pundits are talking about how exciting this turnover is ... but there are real people whose lives are being affected,” said one outgoing Democratic aide. “They really need to show some compassion.”


That's about the same kind of 'compassion' you showed the Republicans- wasn't it?

The terrorists win

This is just so f*cking wrong.


Yes, that IS a moslem molesting a nun.

A moslim, the same reason we have this entire Kabuki theater that never once stopped a hijacking.

For some reason,,,

The new doggie codeword for "lets get stupidly exuberant" is slut.
See, I'm watching the second showing of AMCs 'Walking', where she is letting the deputy sheriff [her husband's partner]do her. (and I mentioned the word, then the dogs went stupid until I let them out)

OK, yeah his partner told her he was dead, but it's not like they were apart for months. He was in intensive care until the hospital got overrun. But he was on the machine until he woke up... what's that, days?

So it was a month, maybe two since the Zombieclypse that they ended up in Atlanta and she started doing his partener?

I'm pretty much of a male slut, too- but I think I'd wait more than two months before I hooked up with someone if I thought my wife was dead. That respect thing and all, but this is a Hollywood production, so I guess the mourning is hours....

I solved the deficit

I guess this is the new meme.
I had 67% from spending cuts -only because they wouldn't let me cut more- and 33% from increased taxes.

It would have been a lot easier if we hadn't just thrown $3 TRILLION away on our Liberal buddies, but as usual the responsible ones have to bat cleanup for the Dems.

Anyway, here's how I did it, and here's how you can see how you can solve the deficit.

Dear Boston Globe,

Or maybe it was the AP that made the headline.

THIS is a Battleship.

THIS is the Destroyer you're talking about.

Not that we really expect a bunch of Liberals to know that anything haze gray and underway isn't a battleship.....which are all in mothballs (BTW).

Tradition

Go ahead and put this on in the background, I'll wait.

I see that Nancy Pelosi, the new leader of what will become the new Democrat minority in January has reached back to her Democrat roots.
See, she had a choice in letting two subs fight it out for number two in the pecking order, or she could keep Steny Hoyer as another reminder of why they're in the minority.

So, what she did was to make a brand new #3 position for the colored guy. You know, separate but equal. I wonder if the next step will include separate drinking fountains, and lunch tables in the cafeteria.


"Don't be getting to uppity, boy."

I just got done watching the Grahm Norton show

And even that Irish Liberal gay guy (and his guests) were wearing poppies to commemorate what they call Rememberance Day- our Veterans day.

I didn't notice, until I saw Grahm and the rest (Johnny Noxvill and Joan Rivers) with their poppies and wondered about Himself....

The answer is NO, HE didn't.

But by the time he got there, they were probably out.
...Since the converstion probably went something like:

Ummmm----November 11, that rings a bell,,?
Why?
I dunno, something happened then, but I'm not sure what, it just seems we did something last year...

Well, wiki it.

Ok,,,,,,,,,,,OH Crap! It's Veterans Day! We need to get Prez Kickazz somewhere that he can show how he appreciated the military.

Yea, ,,,hey Korea is close, lets drop in there and we can get some wicked Kim-chi while He's making nice to those killers.

Cool, sounds like a plan.

What exactly is a Justin Bieber?

Yeah, I know he's some kind of actor in crappy movies and some kind of singer...maybe.

The first time I saw a picture of him, I said to myself --because nobody else was around-- "man, that 'do' has to cost at least a grand a week to look so professionally ,,, um,,,, tousled.

Just looking at him, you know his handlers have never let him be on his own so he could bond with guys by:
-riding a bike too fast down a trail and face-butting a tree
-having a mudball fight at a swimming hole
-camped out all night in an unair-conditioned tent
-slept in a sleeping bag
-been trapped in a sleeping bag and drug to the girls campground (naked)
-shot a gun
-did something stupid enough to bleed.
-got into a shoving match.
-find (or drop) a stash of girlie mags so you and your buds could enjoy them later
-catch a fish and clean it using river water



BUT, in 2012 he'll be the next Alex Keyton from Canada telling us who to vote for. Because he knows us so much better than we know ourselves.


As a matter of fact, I bet the few girls that read this blog have done more on that list than Justin the Pure.

WOW! Brainstorm

After rereading that diatribe from MOM, and some of the ensuing comments, it occured to me...find a way to fight back.

Along with the protests and stuff, give them something to see.

I was looking at some of the aluminum tape I had to stop some leaks in our ductwork and thought- - -does anyone know where I'm going with this?







Anyway, if you haven't figured it out, metal pasties and a junk protector.
If it wasn't so simple, I'd sell them on E-bay.
,,,And since it's business, they wouldn't object to a pair of smiley faces looking back at them, and maybe a hammer and sickle down below.

RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!!

TSA is the most hated government agency. TSA officers are very aware of that fact. We get that some of you come through and even though you hate it, you suck it up and do what you have to do. Then there are some of you who intentionally make things difficult. Screw you and stop it. It is a Federal crime to mess with a TSA officer trying to do their job and you will get arrested. You want to make a point and show your outrage to the world. TSA headquarters is in Virginia. Get on your little bike and ride. Go protest out in front of the headquarters, file your lawsuits, write in your complaints and do your tv interviews but stop messing with the TSA officers trying to do their job. Stop making a point of going to the airport just so you can cause a scene and draw attention to your cause. We get it there are some people who think everyone should have absolute rights and freedom to do whatever they want but it doesn’t work that way. Once you are at the security checkpoint you are on Federal territory and you need to keep yourself in check or you will end up arrested.

Now if you want to fly, suck it up and accept that you have to submit to the security procedures. Yes you think they are stupid or unnecessary but TSA officers and TSA don’t care what you think. They try to make it all warm and fuzzy but they can’t because it is security not a trip to Disney World. Shut up and get in the scanner or don’t fly.

This was from MOM, who apparently was at one time one of those actors in the security Kabuki.

After seeing that the TSA is now banning toner cartridges from your carry-on luggage, and I guess banning larger sized ones from your checked in bags.
I now know how the Taliban is going to entirely shut down passenger air travel in America.

They're going to send one of their Jihadis here with a bomb shoved up his @ss and make sure he gets caught before it goes off.
Then the TSA will hire Proctologists for their newest anti-terror screenings.
After that, the first time they tell someone to drop trou and bend over, there'll be a riot and no-one would step foot in an airplane ever again.

Where is he from?

Clinton Portis?

I mean- really dude you're playing in the NFL and you don't know who the Phillies are?
Playah- pleez.

I know you play football and the Phillies are baseball, but they're the same town as the Steelers Eagles. I know you had to go to some kind of school that had higher education, and should have known that the "P" stood for something besides a fashion accessory.

One step closer

Ok, I'm going for this line locators job.

I passed my two phone interviews and got the online assesement.
I have about 20 hours left to complete it.
Now, given the fact that they seem to want people who are pretty independant- but adhere to the company policy about procedure...

Anyone have advice on how to answer that assesment?
I mean Lowe's obviously wants people to run to their super at any deviation in policy,,,but I don't think they're aiming for that.

How should my mindset be when I sit down for an hour to take those three timed tests?

If parties were people

Would this remind you of anyone?
Skip to the 2:53 mark if you're in a hurry....

Don't everyone call Nancy at once, now...

Veterans Day

To the military who would never have lost a war.


If it wasn't for those Democrats who killed your funding.

Captain kickazz

Remember the guy that was trying to find out who's @ss to kick over the gulf spill?




The guy who told his acolytes to give it back to them harder than they did you?




The one who's going to be fighting the Rethuglicans hand to hand for the next two years.



This guy...




Good thing he's got a Wookie to protect him.

Thank your favorite Deity

that we don't have that doltish Chimpy McHitler and family embarrasing us.

We now have the respect of the entire muslim world for their acting like respectful adults in a highly religious ,,,holy space.



Ummm.....


MEEchelle, like my mom used to tell us all....

You should have thought about that before we left.

Remember two things

First, every dictator needs their own color.
In the case of President Kickass, it's purple.

Secondly, if citizens don't think the ballot box is trustworthy, there is always another box for them to reach for.

Ahhh, so THAT'S why

We're printing enough money to make the Wiemar Republic look like Scrooge....

Happy Birthday Marines!

A quick question for you 'common sense' gun control advocates

Or since you like old timey words- Hoplophobes.

If a guy packing heat is compensating for his,,,,,,,lack of something, what do you accuse a woman of compensating for?

Another assault on airline passengers

This time it was a Delta Airlines flight that was hijacked by someone who hates white people.

Apparently Kayne West who is some kind of hit in the pop culture world decided that he was going to force some 175 people to listen to that vile crap he spouts.

If I was on that flight, could I have asked that the speaker be shut off?
I mean, first it's the check-in lines, and then the intrusive new rules at the perversion counter where they x-ray your bags, then the inevitable 45 minute wait to take off, not to mention the screaming kid......then you HAVE to listen to that ASSHOLE?

I'd either be getting some money back, or suing for intentional distress.

A quick note to Homeland Security

One of your Gitmo prisoners has escaped.







Not that you care because you're getting your jollies at airport security charades.

Just to be sure you all understand

I want to repeat that Obama is NOT a muslim.

As a matter of fact, he specifically did not go to a Hindi temple where he might be mistaken for a muslin by covering his head. You know, we don't want pictures of him looking like he's worshipping allah- or anything.

Because we all know, images speak louder than words...

Creationism V science

I'm sure there are a few that look at Genesis and believe it's stories verbatim.
The majority, I think Look at Genesis as more of a Cliffs Notes version of the beginning of the world.


Or even the Readers Digest version of Cliffs Notes version of the Big Bang theory and evolution:
Chapter 1: 1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
2 Now the earth was formless and empty, and darkness was over the deep, and God's spirit was hovering over the surface of the waters.
3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
4 And God saw that light was good, and God separated the light from the darkness.
5 And God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And evening was and morning was: the first day.
6 And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters separating the waters from the waters."
7 And so God made the expanse, and he separated the waters beneath the expanse from the waters above the expanse. And it was so.
8 God called the expanse "heaven." And evening was and morning was: the second day.
9 And God said, "Let the waters beneath heaven be gathered into one place, and let dry ground appear." And so it was.
10 And God called the dry ground "land" 1 and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good.
11 Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants, and fruit trees bearing fruit with their proper seed inside, on the land." And so it was.
12 And the land produced vegetation: plants bearing the seed of their kind, and trees bearing fruit with their proper seed inside. And God saw that it was good.
13 And evening was and morning was: the third day.
14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the heaven to separate the day from the night, and let them be as signs for the seasons and the days and the years.
15 And let there be lights in the expanse of heaven to give light to the earth." And so it was.
16 And God made the two great lights: the great light for governing the day, the lesser light for governing the night; [God made] the stars also.
17 And God set them in the expanse of the heaven to give light to the earth,
18 and to govern the day and the night and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good.
19 And evening was and morning was: the fourth day.
20 And God said, "Let the waters teem with the breath of living creatures, and let birds fly above the land across the face of the expanse of heaven." And so it was.
21 And so God created the great sea-creatures and every breath of living, moving creature with which the waters teem, according to their proper kind, and every winged bird, according to their proper kind. And God saw that it was good.
22 And God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and increase, and fill the waters in the seas; and the birds let increase upon the earth."
23 And evening was and morning was: the fifth day.
24 And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their proper kind: cattle, creatures that crawl on the ground, and wild animals, according to their proper kind." And so it was.
25 And God made the wild animals according the their proper kinds, and the cattle according to its proper kind, and every creature that crawls on the ground according to their proper kind. And God saw that it was good.

We have everything, that first...singularity, the Big Bang, expansion, gravity, planets forming, evolution....Science!

Then somewhere, a blue police call box showed up,,,

I mentioned that to show you this article from the LA Tiempo, where there are two groups of Global Warming cultists who are going to try forcing others to believe in something that's scientifically unprovable.


What these 'scientists' want is for us to believe their faulty, hand picked, corrupted data to completely upend the way we live- and in the process, keep the money flowing to more 'global climate research'.

It's like we're supposed to believe the entire universe as we know it took G*d 144 hours.
But were supposed to believe what they tell us, and not look independently at facts...
It's like some kind of............ RELIGION, or something!

The article tells you more with the two groups of players and a nice picture of steam leaving some stacks in a sub-zero Chicago February picture.

To my visitors on WildBlue

I don't know how long you've had it, but here's a little PSA.

I don't know if it was just me, but when I had WildBlue satellite internet- I could guarantee that every Thanksgiving week-end- for as long as I had it, I was getting hit with a FAP violation.
It didn't matter how much or little I was online, but every time I checked my download, it was always higher until I was in violation and my %80/month broadband speed was slower than dial up. Just letting you know, so you maybe can ease up on your downloads in advance so you get a little farther into the Thanksgiving week-end befor getting FAPped.

There are other wireless broadband Internets out their that use radio beams from ground stations to repeaters, and you get more stuff for less.

Does anyone find it odd

That there are almost unprecedented security arrangements for the Oboondogle?

There are 600 security personnel just for the Taj Mahal- and they along with the entire staff are on lock-down until Prez Kickass leaves on Sunday.

Since he's the most beloved and transformative President we've ever had -in the entire history of America- I don't see why they don't just let him loose on his millions of adoring fellow Indonesians.




"Boy, Meechelle- it sure feels good to be back where I belong."

Penny for the Guy?

Remember, remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 'twas his intent
To blow up the King and the Parliament
Three score barrels of powder below
Poor old England to overthrow
By God's providence he was catched
With a dark lantern and burning match
Holloa boys, holloa boys
God save the King!
Hip hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!



Yeah, those bitter religious tea drinking bible thumping bitter clingers thinking THEY could run their own lives better than the King.