In response to King Putt and his sycophants wanting to qush the golf jokes:
A couple love to play golf together, but neither of them have been
playing like they want to lately, and so they decide that it might be an
idea if they took private lessons.
The husband is the first one to have a lesson.
After the instructor sees his swing, he moans loudly, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"
"Well, what should I do?" the man asks.
"You need to hold the club gently," the golf pro replied. "Hold the club just like you would hold your wife's breast."
So the man takes the advice that the instructor gave him, takes a swing,
and KERPOW! He hits the ball and it flies almost 300 yards straight up
The man is delighted, and goes back to his wife with the good news.
His wife can't wait for her lesson, which just happens to be the very next day.
The golf pro watches the wife take her swing, and just as before he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."
"What can I do?" asks the wife.
"You need to hold the club gently, just like you would hold hold your husband's willie".
Meechelle listens very carefully to the instructor's advice, then takes a
swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway, landing
about 15 feet from where she stood.
"That was great," the instructor says with a straight face. "Now, take
the club out of your mouth and swing it like you're supposed to!"