The Jawa Report has alot of good stuff

Crammed into one post about - (yes it's the title)The Religion of Peace.

It begins with a quote from Salmon Rushdie, if you remember him.

Lots of good links.

The complete truth

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter.

Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever
heard of 'MateMatch'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're
what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name?
First only please."

Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time
you had sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."

( 3 minutes of commercials follow.)
DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"(touchtones....ringing....)

Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."

Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'MateMatch'?"

Sarah: "No."

DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."

DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."
DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?

Sarah: "In the ass....."
After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break....

Ok, a gratuitous picture of a babe a real guy wants

(I've had the hots for her for a long time, anyway)
She knows guns, in the wilderness, and a rich consrevative- UMMmmmmm.

You can see more of her here.

*Not work safe if you work at GOOGLE, PROGRESSIVE, NETSCAPE, or any other "blue" company*

Why not just BUY them all houses?

BUSH ADMINISTRATION ANNOUNCES RECORD $1.4 BILLION TO HELP HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF HOMELESS INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES
"HUD funds will support unprecedented number of local programs"

Dash has a good Chili post up

(I wish I could get my Tracbacks working, but I guess this is just Googles way of dealing with conservative blogs.)

But anyway, You'll have to scroll down this archive untill you come to
Tuesday, February 15, 2005/
Texas Chili Contest

Remember back in the 80's when AIDS first came to light?

The Government wanted to treat it like a medical problem/ burgoning epidemic. They wanted to track the carriers and get their sexual history so they could track and treat their parteners. That's how they cured or got a handle on Small Pox, Dyptheria, Polio, and many other diseases.

The Homophile (see I know Latin words, too) community went nuts. Accusing everyone that didn't vehemently object as HOMOPHOBICS who 'just wanted to discriminate against GAYS'.

Ok fast forward to today, and see what a poll of 864 physicians and 1,339 members of the general public has to say.

The survey revealed that among the general public:

-- 63% of Americans believe that mandatory, federally funded HIV testing would improve the overall health of the U.S. population

-- 60% indicated that the associated health care benefits of mandatory, federally funded HIV testing outweigh the social implications

-- 40% indicated that the social implications of mandatory, federally funded HIV testing outweigh the associated health care benefits

Among the sample of physicians:

-- 64% believe that mandatory, federally funded HIV testing would improve the overall health of the U.S. population

-- 59% reported that the associated health care benefits of mandatory, federally funded HIV testing outweigh the social implications

-- 41% indicated that the social implications of mandatory, federally funded HIV testing outweigh the associated health care benefits

And

According to a recent study in the New England Journal of Medicine, health experts recommend that virtually all Americans be screened routinely for the HIV AIDS virus, much as they are for cancer and other conditions. In addition, the report cited recent federally funded studies which determined that the cost of routinely testing and treating nearly all adults would be outweighed by a reduction in new infections and the opportunity to start patients on antiviral medications early in the disease progression.


Yep, like the saying goes: "What goes around comes around."

I'm just wondering how much the "Compassionat Conservative" is going to flush on that program.

Thanks to Capt Wedge Donovan

It looks like I'm on the short list for a new job.
They're looking for a guy who knows both High wire and natural gas systems. Even though it's been almost 20 years since I climbed a pole, those two words Sea Bee helped make up his mind, and being discrepency free in two consecutive RRC inspections helped a bit, too.

Not to brag, but if you can build a fully functioning airfield when the Marines are still taking an Island, you should be able to run a small towns utilities.

Introducing the USS Hostage Crisis

Yep, you heard right the Navy- in all it's infinit wisdom and PCness is going to commission an attack sub the USS Dhimy Jimmy Carter.

Wonder what Carter'll have to say about something designed specifically destroy enemys of America in his commissioning speach?
Did volenteers come over on the weekends to help build it?
Will the commissioning crew have to "donate" their planks for a Habitat Home?

Hope there's no counter-attack rabbits going after it.
I hope they take care of his boat a hell of alot better than HE did the military when he was in charge of it.

Spare White Guy is finally getting around to posting

on something I posted last week.

Ol' Thor the wonder Penis is posting about wimmin teachers and their young meat
-Ok that's not the name of the post. I mean it's fake- but accurate.

Well, I'm getting hits, but

Almost all of them are spanish blogs- Unless they're looking for info about sneaking into Maxwell.
They should just show up, half of maxwell seems illegal anyway. The population of Maxwell proper is about 300, or so.
The Post Office is there and the Water Board. I live about 4 miles away; closer to San Marcos city limits, actually.

Can the Hollywood left EVER get enough of the Clintons?

Bill and Hill each got a Grammy for their books on tape. Guess they need to get their message out to all the graduates of "outcome based" high schools.

Gorbachev got one too.

. . . And in the spirit of tolerance and healing

Kos is reaching out to Republicans.

*language*

Why do I always feel like I need to shower when I come out of those kind of sites?

Ok MSM it's been a week since the Iraqi MP story broke

As I mentioned in my post last week.
I want to see the pics splashed all over the place. Where are they?

Oh? They're not going to overkill that story?
Why?
Ohhh- because they were exposing themselves, and- they were BABES, not like that mannish hosebag Lyndie England.

Happy Birthday Abe

President Bush? I have a job related question.

I've been rained out quite a bit lately ( it's a good thing I'm guaranteed a 24hr/wk).
I was browsing jobs to see what else was out there that I might be interested in because frankly, I'm getting bored. If I'm rained out I can't do anything outside, or do any finish woodworking in the 100% humdity.

So I'm looking in Work in Texas and I saw this:
Carpenter - View Job Posting for Information - SAN ANTONIO, TX - $13.00 / hour - View Job Posting

The pay range for that Truss Builders job is from $9 - 13/hr.
That's what it was almost 20 years ago when I was a carpenter after getting out of the Navy.

The reason I mention this job, Mr President and all you other apologists for Illegals, is that you keep saying Americans can't or won't take these "low paying"jobs. 20 years at the same pay. If the illegals weren't keeping these wages so low- ALOT of Americans would be working there.

I like carpentry, I like to build things. I'm NOT going to do it for $9- $13/hr.
As far as migrant farmworkers- a machine can do what they do- and at a better cost (well,after it's cost-effective to build one, that is) and we taxpayers won't be required to provide free/lowcost food, lodging and healthcare.

Anyway Mr Bush, my question to you is are you going to do anything to try to slow or stop these lawbreakers from coming north?
Also, are you even going to mention to Vincente Fox that it was in bad taste for his government to print a "How To" book about breaking our imigration laws?

Kinky Friedman for Gov?

I report, you decide.
I came accross this collection of his writings in Texas Monthly Magazine, and as a fair and balanced blog; I'll let you make up your mind if you'd want him as the Governer of our state.

Hoopla has a poll up

It's missing a name, I think. They're asking who's responsible for the Ward Churchill thing.

As I said earlier, I should probably care about this, but I don't really.
I just thought I'd add this post to be able to (maybe) get a link to Hooplas' website. They're linked to LGF so maybe I'll get some spillover.

As a note to the ardant followers of Churchill. You'll find it as easy to rip my little bloglett to shreds as a Rottweiler would shredding Raggedy Andy.

I know this blog sucks, I don't have 4 years of college behind me, I went into the Navy and my college courses were in Electronics, not Poly Sci and English.

This has everything the UN wants,

But where is it? According to this news story, The Sri Lanka people are accusing their own officials are taking bribes for aid.

Ok, the question is - where is the UN? It has everything the UN wants; a major disaster, lack of oversite, and bribes for everyday necessities.

I guess they don't figure it's worth it, tho - not like skimming BILLIONS from Iraq. It's only a jerkwater island that a popular sci-fi author lives on. It's not like they have BILLIONS of barrels of oil to skim. Maybe the UN is waiting for their 2005 Landcruisers to arrive, before the start "overseeing" the relief efforts.

El Capitan

Gives a Public safety warning about cleaning loaded staplers.

Garfield Ridge

Has an update on the latest in plastic engineering.

Just wondering if Ebay lets you sell "clean" (umm) water.

Spare White Guy

Gives you something not safe for the Valentine to catch you with tonite.

Ok, on the laptop everything seems like it's working.

Maybe it was just Blogger having issues?
The spell check still won't work, tho.
-And my edit pencil is gone.


1:45AM- OK, my fault about the links. I copied the entire address- including the http://.
If you have TWO http://s it looks like this- http://http://siteaddress.whatever -and it'll send you to the microsoft homepage. Weird.

OK, is it me? or my writing? My views? My Firefox? My XP? The dogs muddy paws?

Blogger won't post any posts.

My Blogroll- powered by Blogroll is sending everything in my blogroll to the microsoft main page.

I changed my name in my Profile, and it changed in most of my posts, now it's back to the old name.

Guess maybe I'll just try another blog, and try again on another site? With a different name, and hope nobody remembers me.

Been an expensive two weeks over here at rancho trainwreck. Had the Transmission rebuilt on the Dodge (my favorite truck) to the tune of $2.000, the Conductors Emergency Room bills (insurance didn't kick in till Feb) came in last week from a Dec. visit. And - best of all- I owe Uncle Sugar almost $600.

Ahhhh, the life of an evil rich conservative.

Well, the good thing was the rattling shudder in the Dodge wasn't warped brake rotors, just a bulge on my rear tire.

Ward? Weren't you a little hard on the Bever last night?

Ok, I don't really have a dog in this fight. But my English wife was wondering why now, after all Ward Churchill has said about how evil America and her lackies (us) are- is everybody jumping on him now?

I told her it's simple, when everyone thought he was part Indian - he couldn't be a racist. When it was disclosed by A.I.M. that he wasn't part of the "tribe" it became racist hatespeach- pretty much. He was open for citicism. (They haven't got so "politically sensitive" over there yet).

Now I ran accross this website over at LGF, and just couldn't help putting it into context:

We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

Say you don’t know me or recognize my face
Say you don’t care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night.

OK, enuff said.

Gone to Canada the saga continues. . .


I know if you're here then you've seen the "libs heading north" thing. Aren't they showing their 'racism' and 'intolerance' and not their vaunted 'appreciation of culture' by NOT heading south- to Mexico?
They worship the Mexican 'undocumented worker', and the culture they bring north.

I can think of at least two reasonsfor that, and they are:

1. They're going to reinforce the earlier wave of draft-dodgers we sent in the 60's. The ones who've helped push Canada into the pro-French anti-anglo sphere.
   
2. They like the wages and Gov't healthcare they have heard about (can't blame them for not wanting Mexican wages, healthcare or education)

OK, Mexico has some of the same opportunities as Canada, and even some moder, first world cities to live in in addition to some advantages nobody's mentioned.
- Mexico has a nice warm climate too boot.
-And a low cost of living.
-And a wonderfully diverse culture (we KNOW just how much Libs love diversity)
-Mexicans running everything- AND they don't have to fight us evil, cro-magnon red staters in order to get that happening- save alot of time).

Maybe they can head south and put their ideals into action.

Ok, is this a new thing?
Where were these kind of woman teachers when I was in middle school?
I would have loved to have the bragging rights to bagging a hot teacher.

I think of all the education that I missed.
But then my homework was never quite like this.
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
I’m hot for teacher.
I got it bad, so bad,
I’m hot for teacher.

What's wrong with these women? The ones I've seen are hot, not the spinsterly ones we had in middle school, who probably didn't have the choices these babes have.

The only thing I can imagin is that they want to be a "wholistic" teacher ;-D, and be sure the kid is "ready" to face the world- or that those teachers are somehow , , , damaged goods in one way or another.

I think of all the education that I missed.
But then my homework was never quite like this.
Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad,
I’m hot for teacher.
I got it bad, so bad,
I’m hot for teacher.
-Van Halen

Over here we call it "scalping"

According to ThisIsLondon The 60s group Cream are holding a reunion, and tickets: "have appeared on auction sites such as eBay for up to £2,000 for four, an increase of more than 300 per cent.

The premiums have enraged fans who failed to get tickets through "legitimate" routes and now face having to pay over the odds for the concerts.


There are also fears about "cowboy" agents who do not give accurate information or may even fail to supply the tickets. Peter Tudor, chairman of the National Arenas Association-said Cream fans should treat websites offering tickets with the utmost caution."

The exchange rate is about $1.70 to the Pound

That's more than I payed for our spare car!

Dear President Bush,
Dear Vice President Cheney
Dear Senator Cornyn,
Dear Senator Hutchinson,
Dear Representative Paul,
Dear Representative Doggett

Hi, I'm just wondering if you and the rest of the Republicans are going to start actually acting like conservatives with this budget. I understand there are things that can't be forseen, like the cost of the War on Terror and such.

I don't mean that, I'm wondering if you have anyone on your staff who is actually going to READ the final spending bill- BEFORE -you vote on it?

Seems like everytime you people vote to approve the bill, and the President signs it, we hear about the boatloads of pork the nobody knew was in there- because nobody bothered to actully READ the thing. I'm sure you have an extra staffer, or intern just sitting around extra that you could get to maybe just skim the thing, and cull the pork for you.

If you want to explain more of the budget prosess, I'd love to post your response in my little bloglett where this letter is going. You can write to me, or respond in comments at A trainwreck in Maxwell

Thank you for your time,
KurtP


P.S. Can I get a retirement plan like the one you have in D.C.?

Well, it's finally out about the real meaning of "Compassionate Conservatism"

Anyone who was a real conservative could see that "compassionate conservatism" was just a codeword for Liberal-lite.

In his first term we wached "W" using a grain shovel to throw money out the window, and then come up with the perscription drug fiasco (anybody know exactly how much over-budget it really is? ) which I seem to remember something like 25%-BEFORE it even starts the money sluce.

Then there was the illegal amnesty balloon.
The doing whatever they could to make the MSM , and Libs like them- Ted Kennedy's school plan.
It's early, and I don't want to think of the rest, but came upon this at Drudge

developing flash report

printed verbatem:

BUSH BUDGET DIRECTOR BRAGS OF SHIFTING TAX BURDEN TO RICH
Mon Feb 07 2005 15:42:56 ET

The White House budget director Josh Bolten on Monday bragged to reporters how the nation most-wealthy will see an increase in tax burden under Bush's new budget.

"If you look at the president's tax cuts as a totality, the income tax, those at the upper end of the spectrum are now paying a larger share of the income tax than they were before," Bolten explained.

"An example, the top 5 percent in income in this country -- that's people making above about $140,000 -- without the president's tax cuts that top 5 percent would be paying about less than 52 percent of our total income tax revenue.

"After the president's tax cut that group is paying more than 54 percent of our total tax revenue. So the notion that the president's tax cuts have somehow made the code less progressive is wrong. The president's tax cuts have made the tax code more progressive."

Developing...

Ok, maybe they're making subtle digs at the libs (progressives), but the increas of 2% of taxes for the top %5 of taxpaying Americans isn't what I'd call fiscally conservative.

Gawd I wish we could get a REAL conservative in power. I don't care which party they're from.