Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Dec.15

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The days after Dec. 7

The Salvage of Pearl Harbor Pt 1 - The Smoke Clears

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Monday Dec. 08

 

The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-Unless JP hides for too much skin in the wrong place...

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Dec. 01

 

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The big one below the break~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Nov. 24

 Happy Thanksgiving!

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The big one below the break~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is absolutely nothing square at Snakebit acres.

 I pulled measurements off two fences to get a rough layout for the batter boards. Every time I walked a 90 degree measurement, I was off by three feet.

I thought I was having some kind of navigation problem.
THEN- after setting batter boards for the short side, I used the measurements (off the other fence) for the long side.
After setting the two parallel string lines, I squared up it and barely had space to do it. 
Now I'm going to have to get the wife involved.

....Or use 6' batter boards set 6' away from where I think they need to be.

 

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Nov. 17

 

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The big one below the break~~~~

I just noticed

 When the toaster oven/air fryer is done making tater-tots....
It says "Hoon".

On Veterans Day

 Tommy
~~Rudyard Kipling~~

I went into a public 'ouse to get a pint o' beer, 
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here." 
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die, 
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I: 
O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away"; 
But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins," when the band begins to play
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play, 
O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins," when the band begins to play.  

I went into a theatre as sober as could be, 
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me; 
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls, 
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls! 
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide
The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide, 
O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.  

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap. 
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit. 
Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll, 
O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes," when the drums begin to roll. 

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too, 
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you; 
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints, 
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints; 
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Tommy, fall be'ind," 
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind, 
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind. 

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all: 
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational. 
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace. 
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot; 
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please; 
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool - you bet that Tommy sees!

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Monday Nov. 10

 

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The big one below the jump~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Nov. 03

 

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The big one below the break, as usual~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sob stories about swamp creatures

 

The median salary of Air Traffic (and probably most other .GOV swamp creatures) controllers (ending in 2022) is About $130,000 per year.

Which is $10,833/month.

 

I made about 1/3 of that.

When I was unexpectedly retired, I had just -the year before- put over half down on an F-250, so my bank account was.... on the low side. I had to wait almost a month and a half foe SS to kick in.

I still had enough money (at 1/3 of the average .GOV employee) to live and pay my bills for those 90 days easily.

 

WHY are these swamp creatures needing food pantries and side hustles to make up that missing money?

 

OR is it more likely that the Left leaning Media is lying (again) to try getting sympathy for the Devil? 

Free government healthcare

 American style-

Got back from Ortho at the VA.

It went from 18 years of "we'll just do PT for that shoulder and it should make it feel better" -to (finally)- "Lets do an MRI on it" last year.

 

To- "WOW, that biceps tendon is really ganked, we'll do a cotortozone injection to see what happens" -to- "Okay, we'll cut and reattach that tendon" -to- today. "WOW, it looks like we'll need to rebuild that whole rotator cuff".

 

That's what free healthcare is.

AND the VA isn't covering 350 million people.

Your Rule 5 monday puzzle for Oct. 27

 We'll be using my pics after seeing the last example of what JP thinks are hot chicks.

 

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The big one below the fold ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Oct. 20

 Something suggested to me when I opened JP.

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Oct.13

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~

SHIT!

 I KNEW I should have bought that 2500 Denali even though it was a year older.

This is the second F-250 tailgate I've ruined by rolling a full 5x6 round bale off.
At least a welded steel tailgate can handle 1100 pounds of hay.

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 UPDATE- 
$575 on FB Marketplace.... without the camera.

It'll be reinforced, I just don't know if it'll be channel, angel iron or square tubing inside that flimsey-assed thing. 

Spreading the knowledge

 In case you were wondering, an M-1 Abrams is compatible with school zones.

 

Your Rule 5 Monday puzzle for Oct. 6

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Sept.29

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~

On being watched

It's really annoying to be working on something fiddly when you want to use two hands, but only have room for one.
THEN you have people standing around watching you.

 

 

Family drama and long distance calling

 I saw something on my FB timeline about long distance calling back in the stone age....
It was about her only being able to talk to her deployed BF on Saturday afternoons because of where he was- long distance.

I remembered back when we were deployed to Guam back in the 80's and we'd be able to schedule calls to home via MARS (phone-HAM radio-phone).

I'm not sure how much those relay operators paid attention to what was said because they probably had to listen for "over" when someone was done talking.

BUT- I'm sure they heard a crapload of things the shouldn't have, or didn't want to. Death, illness....Jody, financial problems...........

Your Monday rule 5 puzzle for Sept. 22

 Just so Gnome Sane doesn't have a problem with this serving of free ice cream......
I made sure the date was right and a brand spanking shiny new girl was sent from Bacontime just for you.
 

Feel better?

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Monday Sept. 09

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Sept. 08

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Sept 01

 Happy Labor Day!

Have some working girls-

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Aug. 25

 Yes, we've seen her before but are you going to complain about a hot redhead? 

 

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The big one below the break~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Monday Aug. 18

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Aug. 11

 

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The big one, as usual under the break~~~~~~~~~~~~

FB threw something up on my timeline.

The post was from something called 'Heavy metal lovers".... or something.

Their idea of heavy metal was 'Stairway to Heaven'. 

THIS is literally "heavy metal'.  FFS that must have been another A.I. posting 

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Mondau Aug. 4

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't have a dog in this fight

 And I couldn't care less about either of them in this little snit they're having.

BUT
 

Is Mooch starting to show her male pattern baldness? 

 

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for July 28

 Because I finally got caught up on everything and can start welding on the dump bed trailer again.
Now if I could only get the VA to do something about my shoulder, I'd be able to weld more than 30 min. at a stretch.

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This-

Right here is why I hate letting the F-250s fuel tank get below half full.
Plus it's easier on the fuel pump.

I don't know wtf is going on with fuel prices this year. It used to be they'd go up and stay for a while and change back down for a while, but this year it seems like every time I go into town, the price has swung 30 cents in a day or two.

Your Rule 5 Monday puzzle for July 21

Because I almost forgot about it........

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The big one below the fold~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for July 14

 

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The big one below the fold as usual~~~~~~~~~~~

Nice try bro

But your transmission isn't made of glass.

 

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Monday July 7

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 The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule5 puzzle for June 30

 

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The big one below the fold~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for June 23

 

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The big one below the break~~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle fot June 16

 

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 The big one below the break~~~~~

Thunderstorms

 We finally got a line of thunderstorms that broke through the anti-rain dome that covers Rancho Snakebit here in Seguin.

I have the trucks in their protected positioning because in the last 14 years we've been here, we've lost about seven oak trees. You can see the last one over the hood of the white Ford.

 In the last week or so, San Antonio has gotten at least 6" of rain. The military grade alarm clock at the top gate says we got about an inch just some 35 miles east of S.A.

Your fiery and not so peaceful Rule 5 puzzle for Monday June 9

 

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The big one below as usual~~

Not everything was about Normandy on June 6th

Your Rule 5 Monday puzzle for June 2

 

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The  big one below the break~~~~

Getting ready for the Aurora posts in FB tonight

#lookatmyNORTHERNLIGHTSpicsfrommybackyard!!!!!eleventy!!!!

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Your Rule 5 Memorial Day Monday puzzle

 

Some mat find this easier than others.

The big one below the fold~~~~~~~~~~

Someone with a degree signed off on this.

 

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for May 19

 

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The big one below the fold~~

The autostereogram

 

 

Is a way to look at 3D images without any help.

 

There are two ways to do it. One is to kinda try to look (focus your eyes) about eight inches behind the picture until you can see the 3D image.

The other is to cross your eyes and slowly uncross them until you see the picture.

 

This one- when you finally get it- is Legionnaires standing in columns.

From Here  to see an enlarged ( and easier to see) pic.

 

 

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for May 12

 

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The big one below the fold~~~

Not only NO!

 But FUCK NO!

America has no business doing Jack Shit with anything involving those terrorists in Gaza. 

"The United States and Israel have discussed the possibility of Washington leading a temporary post-war administration of Gaza, according to five people familiar with the matter.

The "high-level" consultations have centered around a transitional government headed by a U.S. official that would oversee Gaza until it had been demilitarized and stabilized, and a viable Palestinian administration had emerged, the sources said."

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for May 5

 May the Fifth be with you-

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The big one below the break~~~

Almost forgot

Happy International Workers Day-

 

Wednesday oddiments

25 Forgotten Poor Man Sandwiches Your Grandparents Ate To Survive!

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Scammers stole almost $400,000  of cheese in Jolly Olde England

Neal’s Yard Dairy, a cheese retailer based in London, was recently robbed of more than 20 tons of cheddar in a sophisticated scam. After the company was approached by a fraudster posing as a legitimate wholesaler, employees shipped 950 clothbound cheeses to France — only to realize the whole thing had been a setup.

 

 

Archaeologists in the ancient Roman city of Pompeii have uncovered a painting which depicts what might be the precursor to the Italian pizza.  

 

The flatbread depicted in the 2,000-year-old fresco "may be a distant ancestor of the modern dish", Italy's culture ministry said.

But it lacks the classic ingredients to technically be considered a pizza.

The fresco was found in the hall of a house next to a bakery during recent digs at the site in southern Italy.

The discovery was made this year during new excavations of Regio IX in the centre of Pompeii, one of the nine districts that the ancient site is divided into. 

 

A tale of a bored octopus

 Daily Telegraph article published in October 2008 describes the exploits of an octopus named Otto, who, acquiring a taste for chaos after learning how to short circuit the light above his tank by squirting jets of water at it, embarked on a rampage of escalating mischief. In addition to electrical tampering, by the end of the spree Otto’s misdemeanours included damaging his tank by throwing stones against the glass, juggling hermit crabs, rearranging the tank “much to the distress of his fellow occupants,” and squandering the resources of the aquarium staff, who took some time to get to the bottom of the matter.

 

 A Brit accidentally bought back his stolen car

 April 25 (UPI) -- A British man who paid more than $26,000 to replace his stolen car later discovered he had unknowing bought his own vehicle back.

Ewan Valentine, 36, from Solihull, England, said he discovered Feb. 28 that his black 2016 Honda Civic Type-R had been stolen from its overnight parking space. Valentine said he was distraught about the loss and hoped to replace the car with a nearly-identical vehicle.

"Sure enough, I found one for sale. Same color, same year, same custom exhaust system," he wrote on social media.

The license plates and VIN were different from his stolen vehicle, so he didn't think too much about the similarities until he had already paid more than $26,000 for the replacement ride.

 

BRaaiinnnssss

 

The remains of a young Roman man were uncovered in the ruins of Herculaneum—the other city destroyed by the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 CE—in the 1960s. His remains revealed something remarkable that’s never been seen before or since: Soft tissue vitrification.

That’s both the name of my new grindcore band and the term for this never-before-seen occurrence that only adds to the horrors we know those in the vicinity of Vesuvius experienced

Canada's election is over.

 Sorry it's so late, but Canada isn't really on my radar.

 They voted for Kier Tredeau even harder than they did for Fideleto the first couple of times.

Now they're going to get what they voted for even harder and won't understand WHY the Thought Police are blocking their bank accounts for wrongthink.

The ones I really feel for is the Conservatives that are going to be stitting in Stir after they're rounded up and then having to listen to Progs bitch and moan about being thrown in there with them because they didn't believe hard enough.

I'm sure Neil has a huge sore spot about lying

 Especially in a place that's supposed to be free of those kind of accusations.

 

Like Senate hearings are supposed to be.
Even though you take an oath to tell the truth....

 

Your Monday Rule 5 Puzzle for April 24

 

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The big one below the break~~

Since Kenny is starting to slow his blog down

 And I'm nowhere near his ability to spin a tale. Or even write coherently more than a few sentences.
I thought that I'd maybe take over his Friday "She's taken, man" that I noticed had been missing for a while, so I decided to look.
Even going back a year, It seems like it just dropped off with no history at all.
I wonder if this is something Kenny did, or it's a Blogger thing?

 

Should I even try?
I know I won't be throwing news blurbs up like he did, but maybe I'll start throwing insignificae up as I see it.

So I was out doing some grocery shopping

When this song came on the muzac machine and it gave me an earworm.

The best way to get rid of it is to share it.

You're welcome.

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle of when Texas won the battle of San Jacento

 Thereby becoming it's own nation.

 

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The big one below the fold~~
I couldn't find any specifically 'Texas gun girls' ,,,so, you get this.

Kurt's driving lesson for today

 

This happened to me three times today.

I went to Seguin to do some shopping on the northbound 466 and twice SB on 1117 toward Nixon to get a round bale.

All three of the vehicles were doing 10MPH below the speed limit until I could pass them. THEN they all decided to put their foot in the carburetor.

 

1- TX law Sec. 545.053 (b)2 says (b) An operator being passed by another vehicle:....(2) may not accelerate until completely passed by the passing vehicle. 

I'm sure other states have the same kind of statutes.

 


AND-

 

2- I'll bury my speedometer getting passed you so just keep doing whatever you were doing as I drive the speed limit.

 

This ends Kurts' driving tips for today.
Buckle up, enjoy the ride and keep your hands inside the vehicle. (Just like they told the girl crew of Bezos thrill ride)

 

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for April 14

 

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The big one below the break~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for April 7

 

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The big one below the fold~~

You didn't know you need to watch this

Via DMF.

I'm seeing a lot of doom and gloom about the stock market

 Because of tariff wars- maybe?

If you were thinking about getting into the stock market, now would be almost as good as back in May(?) of 2020 when America shut down and stocks tanked.

I put some $1500 into Jack in the Box when it hit around $8.50/share and sold it at around $22 to put into something else that was paying better dividends. Now, my $1,000 in dividends I reinvested at $12.45 bought a lot more than it would have two weeks ago when it was in the $20 range.

It's all in perspective and over the long haul, stocks generally gain.

Maybe not as much as you want, but unless you choose the wrong time to sell, you'll be a little better.

 

I also took a shot at doing a DRIP on penny stocks at $2.24/stock. $250 worth with a steady 4 cents dividend every three months which will buy me 2-3 stocks this time and 3-4 next time.

It's not another remake

Lets hope it's not woke.

Your last Monday Rule 5 puzzle for March

 

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The big one below the break, as usual~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for March 24

 

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The big one below the break~~

And a pallate cleaner from yesterday

 Where some took a generalized rant and made it political.

Now maybe Matthew W. has a choice to make -one or both? (ETA- of this post or Mondays original)

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The big one below the break with something they have hidden, because.

Get a grip, people

 Seriously!
I'm getting tired of seeing this

Elon is picking up passengers from the ISS.
It's been in the works for months.
It's no more newsworthy than his 100th round trip.

It's *****NOT***** a rescue.

A rescue would go something like
"Drop everything you're doing and see how fast you can get to Apollo 13 because their Oxygen tank blew up!"

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Mar. 17

 

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The big one below the break~~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Mar. 10

 

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The big one under the break~~

I just got back from the San Antonio VA

 

 

 

TxDOT has every f*cking interstate interchange blocked down to one lane (from 3-5) SB I-35 to NB I-10 is always a hassle. Add in the onramps and cones and it really sucks. We were probably doing 5 MPH if we were moving at all.

Siri didn't show shit about the road work that obviously been going on for a while. 

I'm glad I budgeted a little over an hour and a half to get to Audie Murphy.

 

After I got done, I decided to stay on EB I-10 to Seguin.

Yeah, they had 5 out of six lanes closed off there, too.

Why da fuq are 4-wheelers so married to the lane they're in that it takes cones to force them into a different lane.

I got into the open lane early and left a good 100 feet in front of me, but nobody was even interested until the f*cking HAD to merge.

AND they still have 15 miles of I-10 they're working on on the way to Seguin.

 

 

Oh, and we're looking at an MRI and probably rotator cuff surgery.

You're Monday Rule 5 puzzle on Tuesday

 Because it got blocked like I kinda thought it would.
So we get her again, still waiting on your soul.

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the big one below the break~~~

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Monday Mar 03

 I wonder if this'll get blocked.

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The big one below the break~~~~~~

Yesterday was supposed to be some massive Prog. boycott

 Nobody was supposed to buy anything to... stick it to the Man.

Or something.
I put 43 gallons of gas in the F-250 and 17 in the Silverado.
Stocked up on booze.

Got a handful of 4" grinding discs.
And a round bale (that didn't count because I got it from a farm.

What did you buy last Friday?

It's getting close to Musk's Monday deadline

Even though I'm not some Feeb bureaucrat, I'll show you how easy it is for that e-mail.

That way you can quit bitching and spend five minutes doing what your boss wants............

Dear HR

 

I'm retired, but in the last (cold wet) week I-

-Repaired a broken pipe at one water trough

-Pulled a thorn the hoof of a Mini horse

-Fixed a weak part of a fence

-Forced the cat to accept a new flea collar

-Brought and delivered two round bales

 

Luv and kisses Kurt

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Feb. 24

 

Where the VA benefits haven't stopped in spite of ........alarmist warnings.

 

 

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The big one below the break~~

I went grocery shopping today

And noticed that the Campbell's chunky soup was about 75 cents less than it was about two weeks ago.
The HEB store brand was over a Dollar less.

Last time they were both almost $3 a can.

 

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Feb.17

 

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The big one below the break~

One of the few bloggers

 That I never thought would be triggered by the Trump 47 presidency was Tam.

I don't remember her making the digs she is now under Trump 45, but I dunno- things change and he's not nearly as obnoxious now as he was then. But Tam is definitely having troubles adjusting now.

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Monday Feb. 10

 

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The big one below the break~

For those all wee-wee'd up about "scrotumgate"

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Feb. 3

 I wonder if this is going to trigger (heh) anybody.

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The big one below the fold, as usual~~

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Jan. 27

 

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The big one below the fold~

It's been a week since he took over

 Looks like he's accomplishing things.

How many LBTQRST people have been murdered, persecuted or rounded up to be put int Hte CAMPS!!!!one!!!! ?  Because that what we voted for -right🙄

Your Monday Rule 5 puzzle for Jan. 20

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The big one and a gimme after the break ~~

Today's the day!

Now we can start unfucking America.

We're getting there

 

Your Rule 5 puzzle for Monday Jan. 13

 

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The big one below the break as usual~~

Your Rule 5 Monday puzzle for Jan. 06

  I was looking for winter gun girls and was going to copy one when Hanna showed her pretty little head and I just had to pick her.

 

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The big one after the break, as usual~~

The traditional letter from one president to the next.

 I don't know who or how, but someone got the first copy Brandon's letter to Trump-

THE WHITE HOUSE

WASHINGTON

January 1, 2025

(Dictated but not read)

Are you recording this? I said are you recording this, dammit. You're not very good at this, are you? I'm only going to said this once

Dear Donald,

My name is Jill Biden and Dr. Joe Biden is my wife. You must be pretty pleased with yourself, you son of a bitch. The only reason you won this election is because I didn't [indecipherable]. Why do you think I chose President Kabbalah Haggis to be, excuse me, vice president on the ticket? Because she can't do it, Jack. You should be thanking me. If it weren't for that conniving cu—, well, I shouldn't say it, Nancy Pelosi and her monstrous jugs. What gives her the right? Like a couple of bowling balls in tube socks. Can you even—I'm not being rude. It's just the truth.

Anyway, Camelot is one of the dumbest broads you'll ever meet, and I mean that literally. I've met some real dingbats over the years. Jane Fonda, Sally Jessy Raphael, Strom Thurmond's second wife, what's her name. All of Hunter's girlfriends. No one wanted Comma to run, but I endorsed her anyway to send a message. Barack, that slick bastard with his college words and jazz cigarettes, thought he could waltz in and take all the credit. I could still take him, easy. I'd have more money than him, too, if Hunter wasn't such a fuckup. Chinese diamonds, my ass.

Anyway, they said I wasn't compliment to serve. What a load of—I can still make love to my wife like a 25-year-old. Standing up, kneeling down, in the bath tub, on the Resolute Desk, you name it. I'd like to see him try, Barack. He can barely throw a baseball. No one ever talks about it, but have you seen how fat Michelle has gotten lately? Unlucky, as the Irish say. Of course he was jealous of my legacy. Most transformative since FDR. The polls said I was going to win. So did Joe Scarborough and his Polack mistress. Did they really think prancing Tim Walz was more manly than Joe Biden? I killed a German Shepherd with my bare hands and a cast iron skillet. The press covered it up because they're cowards.

Anyway, congratulations. You're about to inherit [indecipherable] in the history of the United States. We ended the oil embargo and the trucker's strike. Thanks to me, Brezhnev is on the ropes, Osama bin Laden is on the run, and Saddam has never been weaker. They said it could never be done, but NATO is part of Finland now. We cured cancer, and finally beat Medicare once and for all. The situation in Afghanistan should be monitored closely. I would strongly urge you to consider a timely and orderly withdrawal of American troops from the country so the Afghan people may finally achieve their dream of a peaceful democracy that respects the rights of women.

Anyway, I think what I will miss most about the White House is all the kind strangers telling me which doors to go in and out of at a given time. I tried to go for a walk in the Amazon rainforest the other day. Very confusing, on account of the absence of doors and lack of instructions about where to go. Speaking of South America, I've never been a big drug guy, but I must say I've grown rather fond of the stuff they've been shooting me up with these past few years before public appearances. Maybe they'll give you the same treatment. Now, if you'll excuse me, Jake Sullivan is here. We're going to play our little game where he chases me around the house before nap time. Gotta go!

Yours cordially,

Joseph R. Biden

P.S. Did you know that when you're president they let you pardon literally anyone and there's nothing anyone can do to stop you? I didn't believe it at first, but it's true. Stop it, Jake, that tickles! 

(Dictated but not read)