Saturday, February 20, 2010

Our story resumes...

"Corpse men"

The cast

Part one
Part two
Part three


-Sir Melchett to see you m'lord.











-Yes, I've been expecting him. Show him in Baldric.











-Adder, I've just come from the Queens office and she is not happy about the Torries ending our super majority, but still wants this bill passed.








-I know, so does the Prince, and I have a waiting list to serve on those death panels that are in the House of Lords bill.










-And my cousin has has a chance to be one the corpse men- the caller: "Bring out your dead".










- Oh Gawd Baldric your breath smells like shite.











-I'm making shite soup Sire, I found some nice fixings on the road today.










-Anyway Melchett, there is a way called reconciliation.
It would have to work like this: Both houses would need to approve the House of Lords version as is- No changes whatsoever. then it goes to the Queens desk for her signature...








-But then the Upper House version becomes law with all the bribes, kickbacks and backroom deals that made it such a clusterflop.








-Yes, but with the assurance of the speaker of Lords, *I* have a promise and a letter promising that once it's been signed into law- that both houses will work to change it.
We then attach it to the bill allowing the further shipment of criminals to Australia. which as you know only requires a 51% aye vote.







-That is a cunning plan, and we can include something for Big Alchemy in it as well- their contribution was a bit late, something about a lead shortage.








-Your Lordships, may I ask a question?











*Sigghh*

-What is it Baldric?









-I'm a sub-moron who can't count to five, I eat shite soup and think owning a turnip is a big thing. Even I can see that once the bill from the Upper house passes that those Lords have no reason to change it, why would they?








-Because Baldric, they promised they would...AND they signed a promissory note.









-I hate to disagree with my betters, but they are Liberal politicians whose only use for something written has a Pound sign on it with lots of zeros behind it- and a promise lasts only as long as it takes to get their vote.








-Baldric, you're a simpleminded imbecile. This bill means too much for both houses, the Banks of England, France and Switzerland and many highly placed leaders in the medical field.









-Just let us do the thinking for you Baldric, we're the aristocracy and know what's in your best interest better than you.

Friday, February 19, 2010

....And now a bit of modern Anglophilia

To give you a break from machinations of politics.
Straight from the Beeb comic relief,,,and all the creepy cartoon stuff from your nightmares:




Yes that was Dr. Who amid the freakish animated icons and midgets.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Meanwhile, back at the Palace...

"Corpse men"

The cast

Part one
Part two
Part three


-How will we ever get this unpopular bill passed now?










-We'll find a way. There has to be a back door to pass this. It's your signature accomplishment.
You know that there will be a November election uprising against Labour if we get this passed using political tricks.







-I DON'T CARE! We have far to many of the wrong kind of Labour Lords sitting in Parliament anyway. Because you got them elected.








-We needed to load Parliament so we could pass as many of your policies as possible.
We've had the supermajority needed to push Britain as far left as we have already.







-It's not far enough! We had an enormous contribution from the Leech Farmers Association to get this bill passed. Also, my cousin owns a mercury mine.








-Very well, I'll consult with the archivist to find a way.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Corpse men

"Corpse men"

The cast

Part one
Part two
Part three


I say Adder, have you seen these figures on the plague?
People are dropping left and right.

Like flies.










Yes I have you Lordship, and it's not only the peasants this time either.
Those who have access to the best medical minds in England are dying too.









Do we know anything about it?











Or better yet, how much we can wring out of this to help your political fortunes...










Sire, Mr. Adder- William Pitt, the younger is here to see you.












What does he want Baldric?












He wants to discuss the meaning of the last election and you loss of Lord O' Kennedy's seat.










Very well, show him in.












Good day gentlemen. I shall be brief. As you know, Lord Browns election to the upper House puts your super majority in the books of history and we- the Loyal Opposition will do our best to halt your scandalous health initiative.








Oooh how feisty we are when one ekes out a bare majority in a meaningless election!
How quaint.









Lord Percy, that electoral split was almost exactly the same as when you held mock elections for Kingship and you declared it a huge mandate.









Yes, but that was then and this is now- besides we own all the printing presses and the town criers are all on the take.










We shall get our message out. Now good day to you both, I'll see myself out.














.............To be continued after a break for High Tea.............

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

...To the shores of Tripoli.

That second half of the Marine Corps Hymn happened this day in 1804. (That would be 'core'- Mr. President)

Navy Lt. Stephen Decatur lead a shore party into Tripoli harbor to fire the captured USS Philadelphia and then to spike the guns of the Bey of Algiers in our first unilateral invasion of a moslim country.

He's also the author of this often misquoted statement:
“Our country! In her intercourse with foreign nations, may she always be in the right; but our country, right or wrong”

One of the nice things about living in the sticks

is the fact that nature is all around you.

one of the bad things is that ature is all around you.

And nature is always looking for something better.
Including feral cats, possums and whatever else sees your house as a good hideout from the cold.

As you can tell by the timestamp, I just got back from taking care of a nature related incident. I don't know how many more of 'the family' are in my floor and don't want to slice up the rest of my insulation to find out.

One dead tom and I'll let the dogs cull the rest until I can want to get under the house and make it cat-proof.
...AND fix the holes they made.

-It's not a duct tape situation down there.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Color me surprised

I have The Discovery Channel, or one of the other 'sciency' channels.

They're exploring Venus, and it's atmosphere is almost completely CARBON DIOXIDE.
They have molten metal puddles, and UV rays out the @ss.

OK, I'm convinced. It's not the sun that causes global warming, it's the CO2...






I'm just glad that we're like 15 times as far away from the sun as Venus is.


AND we've obviously got less SUVs than they had.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

In todays news round-up

We have many stories about the Vice President (Played by Bob Uecker) telling the world how Dick Cheney is rewriting history.

Over at Drudge there's a story about Greman citizens stopping a Neo-Nazi march in Dresden, with suitable flames in the pictures background.


IN Nice,France we have an accurate likeness of the Obama ego.

At least we can say Obama kept one of his pre-election pledges, because 55% of the Nethrelands are not under sea level any more.


One last story about suicide Smurfs.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Looking at all that snow in D.C.

And thinking about the Presidents newfound ... populus.
You know, showing he's just one of up pleebs.

Why is there no pictures of him making snowmen with his-----------






Oh!




Yeah, They'd be white.






m'K neveribd then.

Hanging yourself with your own rope

I'm sure everyone who's interested has seen the Glenn Beck Debbie Medina interview, in which he asked her straight out if she was a truther.

I was starting to lean towards giving her my vote until I heard her non-answer and her follow-up ...verbiage.
She didn't lose my vote because of her ambiguous answer -The facts aren't in yet,yatiyatiya.

It was her uninterutable rant that followed without letting Glenn get a word in edgewise.

She sounded exactly like those boorishly insufferable Libs that call radio talk shows and launch their monologues on whatever subject they lied about to get on.
You know the ones who drone on and on and on, until you change the channel or turn them off.

Now that she's shown her @ss, I wonder what will happen in the polls?
I couldn't find any taken after her GB moment, but I'm sure this gives Kay Bailey-Hutchinson a boost.

Not that KBH doesn't need to just go back to DC and do her thing there, because her attack ads on Perry just highlight her DeeCee actions as well.

Mandates from on high? Rick Perry stopped his HPV idea, but KBH sent Gawd knows how many unfunded mandates to the states.

Insider deals? Do you *really* want to go there KBH?

Perry trying to get re-elected again? KBH has been in DC for 17 years worth of six year terms- in spite of her promise to only serve ----two.

TxDOT and wasted money? KBH voted FOR the stimulus bill AND TARP and the plus side of 17 years worth of bloated Federal budget AND the pork that went with it.

Want to go on Kay? How about your vote FOR Amnesty when you thought no one was looking.

How many bills have you voted on without reading the? I know you don't have anyone reading your e-mails.


I guess the default vote is for Rick Perry - although Debbie Medina was a good idea.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I used to own a Dodge Ram

It was a '98 SLT 1500.
The best truck I ever owned, and when I could afford it again- I was going to buy another.

Then they sold out to the UAW under the bailout. Which was bad enough.
THEN the Lawyers and their ever so populous PR flacks went after a High School for pirating their RAM logo.

I can understand copyright infringement- and I don't have a degree....Mr. H.S. Principal (and his Board of Education), but I also understand the value of (badly needed)positive publicity Chrysler.

The magical debt cure

In this scene, we have a clueless, spendthrift leader trying to find a way out of massive debt without cutting spending.


The cast:

Prince George- Spendthrift heir to the throne and never met an improvident taxpayer burden he didn't like.








Baldrick- humble servant and source of many ides for the Prince.

















Edmund Blackadder- The voice of what could be called reason in the intellectually unstable palace, all the while scheming for power and pelf.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Oh dear!
I say Adder, have you seen the new debt figures? It's atrocious! Who could be responsible for this?
Can you count all those zeros? Maybe the scribe had a seizure and couldn't stop making zeros?



Yes I've seen them your Lordship. Unfortunately it's a necessary evil on our fight to outspend the financial meltdown we inherited from the previous crown. Our stimulus plan has greatly rushed forward many needed infrastructure repairs.
For example There was a new moat dug and enlarged spillways added for boiling oil in the parapets of Castle Adder.





And I got a turnip!






















Ah! That's all well and good, but if we can't drop some of those zeros, why- the Bank of Britain will revoke our credit chad.









I have a cunning plan your Lordship.
Why not increase the tax on cigarettes by a Pound a pack?













































That's genius, Baldrick.
How shall I reward your ingenious Idea?













A bushel of turnips would be lovely my Lord.






















*And I can see the necessity of a castle in the south of France when the peasants finally revolt*

Well done, I'll tell the sheriffs the good news- starting in Nottingham.