Monday, July 16, 2007

I hear they taste alot like

CATS!

Not that anyone *really* knows what goes into Chinese food.

"Recently there have been a lot of rats ... Guangzhou people are rich and like to eat exotic things, so business is very good," the China News Service quoted a vendor as saying, referring to the capital of Guangdong province.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Cool!






I mean, goodnes, look at the risks that young man is taking with his life and the lives of anyone who has to rescue his immature self.
*Tisk* you'd think an OFFICER would have more respect...........

Anybody missing a dog?

I found this on Craigslist:



Found: Short, Fat, Smelly, Fugly Critter
Date: 2007-04-09, 7:37AM PDT


April 8, 2007

At about 7:00p.m. tonight, after a near-perfect day in Santa Cruz, the evening was shattered by a frenetic, biblically ugly dog.
I was driving home on Corral de Tierra Road near the country club, and nearly hit a small furry thing running in the road. Well, I didn't hear a thump, so I looked in the rear view mirror, and there was still a black dot running up the road.
So I turned around, parked and got out of my truck. It was quickly apparent that it was a little dog, which came running toward me, oblivious of traffic. It nearly ran under a passing SUV on the way. As it got closer, I got a look at it. It is about the size of a bread box, and looks like a turd with fur.
It darted at me, and right passed me, in a game of suicide tag. Traffic on that part of the road does about fifty and it was getting dusky. On the third pass, the dog did a sweeping turn in to the road, and a large truck had to cross into oncoming traffic to avoid it.
So I decided to see if it had a tag, which it did not. Has a collar though. So, knowing that being a tiny black dog playing with fast traffic at night would almost certainly be a less than stellar life choice, I scooped the wet, smelly critter up and took it home.

I have now spent fifty-seven minutes with the dog in my house, and can describe some things about it.:

* It looks like a cross between Dustin Hoffman and an Ewok.
* It smells bad.
* It was very thirsty.
* It was very hungry.
* It wants to be friends
* It is some class of terrier
* It is pitch black.
* It is probably a she.
* Its kidneys are functioning properly.
* It is not very bright.

The dog walks toward and then past my file cabinet, pauses, thinks better of Plan A and whips quickly around in an about face - and smacks it face square against the metal file cabinet. Acts completely undaunted and saunters off to stand in the middle of the room, staring blanky at the wall. So I get up and let it out to piss. The dog spends fifteen minutes outside and does nothing. I let it back in, and it promptly pisses on the rug. This dog is really stupid, and really ugly

If this is your dog, I do not expect you will be rushing to claim it. Nevertheless, I will be posting signs around tomorrow, and contacting the SPCA. If this is your dog, please claim it. No reward required - having the dog gone will be reward enough.

So, obviously your dog is missing or you wouldn't be looking at this ad. You're reading it, going "No way. That couldn't be my precious Wumsypoo". The problem is that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder - this IS your dog, and deep down, you know it is. So come claim her/him/it.

831-484-XXXX

(S)he's got an update with pics now- and a reward!

There's a Navy saying

That on a carrier landing, any wire you hook is a good one.


I don't think they had this in mind, though...













But after looking at it again, I think someone just didn't chock the wheels right.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Something light for a Friday

A quick quiz.
Does the carpet match the drapes?

Scarlett Johansson



Pamela Anderson



Kate Hudson



Christina Aguilera

Thursday, July 12, 2007

There's alot of talk about the Iraqi Benchmarks

Does anyone know what they are?

We know they they only hit 8 of 18 and the Democrat controlled Congress is having a nice bath of "snide".

Lets look and compare, shall we?
I'm not going to get into the Iraqi's failings, because I don't know the results.
I will take on the Dems, though.

Are we ready?

(1) Forming a Constitutional Review Committee and then completing the constitutional review.
Ok, did that 200 years ago- wasn't easy for us then, either.

(2) Enacting and implementing legislation on de-Baathification.
They're doing their best on De-conservatism, but still NO legislation.

(3) Enacting and implementing legislation to ensure the equitable distribution of hydrocarbon resources of the people of Iraq without regard to the sect or ethnicity of recipients, and enacting and implementing legislation to ensure that the energy resources of Iraq benefit Sunni Arabs, Shia Arabs, Kurds, and other Iraqi citizens in an equitable manner.
Nope, they're still playing racial politics here.

(4) Enacting and implementing legislation on procedures to form semi-autonomous regions.
There we go with that legislation again, answer is,,,,,,,,,,NOPE!

(5) Enacting and implementing legislation establishing an Independent High Electoral Commission, provincial elections law, provincial council authorities, and a date for provincial elections.
Didn't they do that already? Maybe they could show Democratic controlled Voting Districs how to hold an election.

(6) Enacting and implementing legislation addressing amnesty.
You and Bush tried your best, but the answer is,,,,,,,,,,,,NO!

(7) Enacting and implementing legislation establishing a strong militia disarmament program to ensure that such security forces are accountable only to the central government and loyal to the Constitution of Iraq.
You're trying with the gun grabbers and OSHA to disarm the citizens protected by the Constitution. But still no laws.

(8) Establishing supporting political, media, economic, and services committees in support of the Baghdad Security Plan.
Libs championing defeat.

(9) Providing three trained and ready Iraqi brigades to support Baghdad operations.
Dems trying for another Vietnamese style Killing Field zone.

(10) Providing Iraqi commanders with all authorities to execute this plan and to make tactical and operational decisions, in consultation with U.S commanders, without political intervention, to include the authority to pursue all extremists, including Sunni insurgents and Shiite militias.
Backstabbing U.S. Troops at every turn

(11) Ensuring that the Iraqi Security Forces are providing even handed enforcement of the law.
Lets try that here! Lets see One Wage increase made law, and the rest of the time is Democrat fishing expeditions against the Bush administration.

(12) Ensuring that, according to President Bush, Prime Minister Maliki said 'the Baghdad security plan will not provide a safe haven for any outlaws, regardless of sectarian or political affiliation'.
The Amnesty bill anyone?

(13) Reducing the level of sectarian violence in Iraq and eliminating militia control of local security.
100,000 more Cops on the Streets!

(14) Establishing all of the planned joint security stations in neighborhoods across Baghdad.
What was your opinion of the Patriot Act?

(15) Increasing the number of Iraqi security forces units capable of operating independently.
Slow bleed strategy.

(16) Ensuring that the rights of minority political parties in the Iraqi legislature are protected.
Bringing the Politburo to the Halls of Congress!

(17) Allocating and spending $10 billion in Iraqi revenues for reconstruction projects, including delivery of essential services, on an equitable basis.
As much pork as we can stuff into each bill.

(18) Ensuring that Iraq's political authorities are not undermining or making false accusations against members of the Iraqi Security Forces.
Yeah, we'd NEVER think of undercutting the war on terrorism by LYING.

Ok, the six months of a Democrat controlled Congress gives us ONE law passed.
The Constitution was a done deal, but we'll be generous- they'll need the point.
Looks like OUR Congress is 180 degrees opposed to almost the entire Benchmark list.

Two out of 18 ain't good Nan.
And Harry? If you just keep spinning your wheels in worthless witch hunts you won't be f*cking up America as much, so you can keep doing what your doing- it costs less than bad laws.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Wanna play a game?

It's a variation of "spot the Lib".

First- read this article about "art".
Next read the comments, and try your best to see which commentor isn't
affected by the thing, and so sees no problem with it.

Now, which one do you think is the Lib?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Yeah, I'm still here

First, to get into the mood, doubleclick on Ray Wylie-then leave him playing in the background as you read the next part.




In the real probablility that you don't listen to 1200 WOAI, the big news here (as judged by how much it was repeated) is that Mike from Dirty jobs is debuting at the New Braunfels snake farm tonight.
I hear he had fun wrangling rattlers.
It just sounds nasty....I've been there.

It is.


My newest job is on the sweaty side. It's as hard as you make it, but you're out in the heat all day, except when your going to the next job. I get paid peicework, and they want me to do extra burys if I see exposed cable. cool. It's $17/drop ,,,or rebury,,,no matter how long. I got two work orders today one to bury exposed at one address with a ped. in it, and another for the block behind it. It was the same cable. I called the office and told the boss.

Guess what he said?
Go ahead, guess.

How about "it sounds like two different work orders to me." Cool, $34 for the same job that's almost as easy money as reburys.



OHH, thanks again you f*cking Libs, Greenies and associated Socialists.
Gas is going up again because we can't build any new refineries, pipelines or even drill our OWN oil. You'd rather have us paying out the @ss for overpriced oil to support our enemies.
The price of gas here went up fifteen cents a gallon since Friday. That's three dollars a tank two or three times a week- just for me.


(UPDATE) 10:20PM

I yanked this from PDB's blog.

THIS is the rap "they" need to be hearing,,, if they insist on listening to that cr@p at all.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Dogblogging

Got a question or two for knowlagable dog owner/lover/caretakers.

We've got some white trash neighbors with three dogs left to run loose.
Our dogs have 'fence fights' with them, where they can slobber all over each others heads, but not do much dammage.
Naturally, our trashy neighbors probably don't get their dogs rabies shots.

I know that rabies can be spread through saliva. The question is- do we have to remember to wash our hands every time we touch our dogs? Just when they're wet?
Or just shoot the other ones (next time they're in the trash)?

Second question-

That's Goliath eating gnawing a raw broccoli stem.
How long until he gasses us out?

Last one doesn't have to do with "dogs" so much as *Doggies* (as the Marines call the Army)
-and anyone else over in the sandbox.
Here's a link to the good cr@p that they want over there.
I seems like a pretty good list, and I don't know if it's intentional or PC, but they didn't mention Redman as a good way to keep awake.

Wah?hoooo.......

Ok, *NOW* wtf is wrong with Googles blogger?

I can't change the title.
Nothing works up there.


Anyway, I was going to make a comment about a post on Wm's blog about the absolute arrogance of the Maryland Board of Education.

See they have declared themselves the ultimate and final arbitrator of what's good for "the children"-no matter what the parents want.
In this case it's the glorification of anything homosexual...again, over the parents objections.
The Maryland State Board of Education has ruled that the right of the state supersedes the rights of parents in teaching children about homosexuality. The Board said the "right (of parents) is not absolute. It must bend to the State's duty to educate its citizens.

"The ruling means that the teaching of homosexuality as an accepted and approved lifestyle in Maryland public schools can move forward. Very important! Some professionals feel that the Maryland curriculum could become the model for promoting the homosexual lifestyle in public schools across the nation.


Because the state knows better how to raise your kids.

Right Barry?
Hil..got anything to ad?

Friday, July 06, 2007

I'm sure by now that you've heard about the record heat

I bet you can't turn a radio or Tv on without hearing some kind of reference to the record heat.

In Nevada alone it's in the low hunnert and teen plus...
in some parts of Cali it's almost record breaking.
Salt Lake City too...

Can I remind y'all of something?

Almost everywhere they're talking about is the DESERT!
It's also SUMMER!

Now I think anyone without some agenda might put those two together and come up with something not so scaryfying as the mainstream news does tries to.

But that's just me, I'm kinda old fasioned that way.

Anyone seen this on TV?

The Gold Kit?

See it's simple, you just get the kit, pour your unwanted gold into a 'special' package and *poof* money!

Why do I smell a scam?

Aside from the obviously under priced payments...Isn't gold selling for somewhere around $400/oz? I don't know how to read that graph, or even what a pennyweight is..I just feel a bigtime underpayment.

Also reading their site, I don't see anywhere that they tell you to send it insured or registered, Heck- just drop in the ol mailbox and we'll send a check right out.....unless they claim they didn't get it.

"Sorry, we didn't get it, can you prove you sent it?"

"Sorry, just because you got a kit doesn't mean you sent it, or it hasn't got lost or stolen before we got it."

Didja ever wonder

What some drivers are thinking?

Why, when someone is on a big main road- with a 10' shoulder, do they ease over to the right to make the turn.....BUT keep 3 frigging feet of their car in the driving lane?
The shoulder is big enough to park a semi on, why can't you clear the traffic lane in your Neon?

I use a map alot to find jobs in San Antonio. Sometimes when I'm close to a subdivision I'll put my hazards on and pull over to the curb. WHY does everyone stay in the right lane - with little or no traffic- until they almost hit me? I've noticed the majority are using a cell phone.

Most cars today come standard with power steering (and brakes). Why do some people always try to scrape my front bumper off when they make a left turn in front of me at an intersection?
Cell pones again, I've noticed,,,and not just the handheld ones.

If it's raining, why do you insist on pulling right up to my bumper at a stop?
You might trust your brakes, but what about the guy behind you? I see these d*ckheads and start to think about getting my new truck truck fixed because of my neck pain and his insurance.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

I wonder

Did those molem islamofasciests terrorists Dr's. who were arrested in Britain this week ever recite any version of this?

I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:

To hold him who has taught me this art as equal to my parents and to live my life in partnership with him, and if he is in need of money to give him a share of mine, and to regard his offspring as equal to my brothers in male lineage and to teach them this art - if they desire to learn it - without fee and covenant; to give a share of precepts and oral instruction and all the other learning to my sons and to the sons of him who has instructed me and to pupils who have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the medical law, but no one else.

I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.

I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.

I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favor of such men as are engaged in this work.

Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.

What I may see or hear in the course of the treatment or even outside of the treatment in regard to the life of men, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about.

If I fulfill this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honored with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.


Do the Muhaamdine take an oath?

Do they take the oath, but it only applies to their fellow islamists? If that's the case, I don't see any conflicts with their profession.

I better make sure my Drs are non-moslum, since their take on MY infidel @ss would let them make Dr. Mengle look like an amature.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Michael, your side lost.

Get over it.
Stop acting like some whiny @ssed Lib. (yeah, I *know* your money men are mad..but still)

I heard that Michael Chertoff was up on Capitol Hill scolding the Senate on listening to the American people. Now that the Amnesty bill was shot down, he can't do his job...or something like that.

Hey Michael, there have been laws on the books since the FIRST amnesty -over TWENTY YEARS ago.

Try enforcing them, M-K?


And in related illegals news, Arizona's' Leg. passed some stiff state laws "because the federal government has not adequately enforced a federal law that already bars employers from knowingly hiring illegal immigrants."


Mr. Boosh, if the bill YOU were pushing looked more like Arizona's, it would have gone through with flying colors.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

A conversation with a 16 year-old

ME: Tell your sister her boyfriend called.
THING 2:He's not her boyfriend.

ME: Last time she had someone calling her this much and talked as long as they do, it was a boyfriend.
THING 2: He's *not* her boyfriend. She doesn't even like him.

ME:She doesn't like him? Then why doesn't she always be busy when he calls?
THING 2:NO! She doesn't like him is all.

ME:If she doesn't like him, why is she on the phone with him so much?
THING 2:She just doesn't like him. I have friends I don't like.

ME: You have friends you don't like?
THING 2:Yes, lots of them.

ME: If you don't like them, why do you hang with them?
THING 2:They're my friends!

ME:You don't like your friends? (Is this starting to sound like 'Who's on first' to any of y'all?)
THING 2:I kind of like some, but not all of them. I'm not hungry now! [dump goes a plate full of meatloaf and trimmings into the trash.....as the dogs look on]

ME:OHhhh......so you like your friends, but not *LIKE* them?
THING 2: I'm going to my room!

How many different tools can you count?

I guess that all depends on weather you want to be the first on your block with some $600 over-hyped toy that has all the software problems of cutting edge technology.

But I think we can all agree that the one from her gated enclave is the biggest one in this clip.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

It must be a guy thing

I'm the only one who thought this was hilarious.

The better half TSKed and gave me a dirty look.



Snorked from Walrilla.

Friday, June 29, 2007

...And in another bit of Liberal brilliance

The Dems want us to increase the fuel milage of ALL our vehicles to unrealistic numbers.

But then, we could always use China as a model of our future vehicles!

Now a little crash test that shows a cabover Ford destroyed for the good of humanity.


Now how about some good-ol 'Merican wrecks?

Just let the frigging thing DIE already!

Can you believe that some Senators (and their money men) STILL want to try forcing amnesty through in one form or another?

A priority for many farm groups is the "Ag jobs" component, one of several programs now needing a new legislative vehicle. It would legalize about 1 million undocumented agricultural workers in the U.S., a key goal of growers whose crops can rot in the fields if not harvested at key times by people willing to work hard at low wages.
That's because "Big Agriculture" doesn't want to invest in developing machinery that would do it quicker,,,but sit idle until needed.

But at least we got through to some of them:
"The American people believe that until we're able to secure our borders and enforce our laws, taking additional steps is really not in the best interests of the country," House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, said after Thursday's crucial Senate vote that derailed the bill.

Some lawmakers immediately urged President Bush to accept defeat on the wide-ranging bill and ask Congress for an emergency spending bill for more border enforcement activities. "That would be a great next step after this vote," said Sen. David Vitter, R-La., who opposed the bill.

Some lawmakers said it hardly matters, however, because enough money and authority already are in place to do the job.

There should be "a very strong sense of urgency in this country to simply carry out the law, the mandate, for 854 miles of fence that we passed" in the 109th Congress, Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif., told reporters Thursday. "They've only built 13 miles of the fence so far. Let's get it built before the next hot season."


Like I said, let it die, I hope the amnesty supporters will get theirs in the next election, it would make a dam fine attack strategy to let their constituents know just WHO they're pulling for.

If "Big Ag" starts trying to pull the old "but look at the family farms" cr@p Let them know that WE know that they own most of those "family farms", and have since the '80s.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

San Antonio--"Up yours Army!"

I guess the only time that the (mostly) Dem City council cares about U.S. military bases anymore is when BRAC is looking at closing something.

They fought hard to keep the funding for Fort Sam Houston during the last round.
Now they had a choice of Keeping San Antonio a military friendly city by keeping Camp Bullis away from light pollution, or going for the developers money.

Guess which won?

Yeah, the developers. Why would anyone think the Armed Forces training to go to Iraq might need to actually have training in the dark?

The city council just voted to rezone the area surrounding Camp Bullis to be developed into a residential and commercial zone. Some 700 acres.

The choices I'd heard were;
  • Keep the natural ambiant dark (for night vision training)
  • Re-zone to the developers request
  • Laughably.....put black-out zoning into effect in the development.
Black-outs, in high-dollar gated communities. How long do you think that would last?

Anyway, I guess the S.A. city council thinks their chit don't stink with the Spurs MBA title.
...And the Defense jobs here that they'll try to keep.
The fact that hundreds of thousands of new people keep moving here makes them think that somehow they have some kind of class other than... low.

Yep, I can hear them now, complaining about how D.C. doesn't understand how MUCH they love the military and would do ANYTHING to forward their mission. Yep, I know I'll be getting an earful of Bravo Sierra next time they talk about base closings.


(UPDATE) JUNE 29 6:20pm


Sorry, I got That wrong- or the TV got it wrong. I heard the real details on my way to work this morning.
The City Council DID mandate a buffer zone, the developer will only get half of what they wanted.

Dear Sen. Specter

Try to remember this.


YOU. WORK. FOR. ME.

The first three words in the Constitution are "We the PEOPLE"

Not:
``We are in trench warfare and it's going to be rough,'' said Pennsylvania Republican Arlen Specter, a chief sponsor of the legislation. ``But we are going to see the will of the Senate work one way or another.''

Where do these arrogant mother f*ckers get these ideas? It's time so change the players, get some rookies that WANT to win.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Thought you were getting ripped off at the pump?

You actually might be.
But not from "Big" Oil.

How about a hacker sitting in the parking lot?

Great, so now am I going to have to start using cash again? Cr@p, nothing's safe fron them.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Ya know, generally I'm not personally affected by international news

But sometimes I just have to say,,EEWWWWwwwwwwww *shudder*.

This story is one of those times.


And in the Tahoe fire... I haven't heard anything about a possible cause yet. You don't think the Liberal media might be holding out on the fact that illegals are known to start fires for the diversion affect?

Monday, June 25, 2007

Gun safety

It applies to BB guns, too!

Just call me Shaun

70%

Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

Radio sales reps,,,

Aren't they supposed to try to find a good fit for the ads instead of just *selling* air time? No matter how badly the ad fit with the program?

The reason I'm asking is that both 1200 WOAI and 930 KLUP which host the likes of Laura Ingrham, Rush Linbugh, Michael Medved, Glenn Beck and Michael Savage have put an ad for the BI-LINGUAL YELLOW PAGES on during their respective shows.
With all the broo-ha-ha about the amnesty bill, someone really should have told them,,,"Not reeealy a good idea to flood the airwaves with heavily (Mexican)accented english right now....If you get my drift."

But someone did sell a bunch of airtime to people who brag about having clients who no hablar anglis.

Way to go Herb!

Salesmanship 101

A young guy from Ohio moves to Florida and goes to a big

"everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The

Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Ohio."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start

tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the

store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought

something from you today?

The kid says, "One".

The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers

a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.65".

The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a

medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a

new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he

said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we

went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris

Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so

I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4

Expedition."

The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him

a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife,

and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing."

Saturday, June 23, 2007

In the shadow of the "swbmebcamrkd" meme

Or whatever Erica called it...

How about this?

A state song meme?
Your favorite vid about your state in a song/musical.



This ones' a twofer- 'God Bless Texas' by Little Texas.

Put it in your blog and touch back in comments. If you don't have a blog and want to play- link in the comments.

I'll be glad to watch both vids.


Thanks to Outlaw 13 for the idea!