Saturday, April 30, 2005

I'm not sure how to react to this news

According to Joe Gandelmans' posting at Deans World a satellite could clear up the speed of the commie reporters rescue car right before they almost over-ran a U.S. checkpoint. He sends us to another link reporting on the same thing.

My problem is that they both quote the same source. I know that I have very serious reservations as to the Rather biased coverage on CBS, and the way they have of making things "fit" their preconceptions.
It seems as though we have a new heavenly neighbor

There is a post at The Moderate Voice telling of a huge new planet. Since I'm getting hits from that posting, I thought I'd give you another unusual astronomical report.

Apparently Jupiter has been misbehaving- somehow. There has been an unreported bit of attitude adjustment going on up there. Some are calling it divine intervention, and wondering if it's proof that there really is a God.
My contribution to the culinary arts
It seems like every blogger needs to make their contribution, so here's my obligatory food post.

I decided to do a brisket and since it's too windy to do it outside, I'm doing it in a 200 degree oven. I made a rub yesterday, and it sat soaking up the flavor all night.
One thing I love about cattle country is that they have good cuts of inexpensive meat. This market trimmed brisket was about $2.19/lb and almost no fat.

I made a sweet BBQ sauce to go with it, so here's the recipe- the way I did it this time (it changes every time):
  • 1 LG (or 2 sm) Can tomato sauce (for you Brits that stumble in here- it's NOT Ketsup).
  • about 1/4 sweet onion-diced semi-fine.
  • 1/2 - 3/4 c brawn sugar ( add more as needed).
  • Garlic powder (not garlic salt) a thin layer over the entire pot- ad more as desired.
  • Chili powder (Red pepper)about the same as garlic.
  • a quick squeeze of of yellow mustard- don't overdo it.
  • Cumino- about half as much as the garlic.
  • Pinch of sweet Basil
  • half a shake of Cinnamon.
Add other spices to taste ( I love that phrase) but DO NOT taste Corriander out of the bottle- it has a nasty, bitter aftertaste.
Other spices to taste.
Heat untill just simmering, and remove from heat.

Friday, April 29, 2005

When is a fillibuster not a fillibuster?

When the R.I.N.O.s let the Dems get away with a "virtual fillibuster" instead of talking 24/7 for weeks on end, completly stonewalling the Fed. Govt (less B.S. laws wouldn't hurt my feelings a bit, though).
Dick Morris has a good article about it.

"The Republican leaders in the Senate do not have to make the false choice between endless toleration of Democratic filibusters that enfeeble their majority and the so-called “nuclear option” — a ruling that filibusters of judicial nominations are unconstitutional — which will set off partisan wrangling for the balance of the Bush tenure.
It is absurd to try to tell the American people why filibusters of judicial nominations violate the Constitution while those of presidential nonjudicial appointments and of regular legislation do not. The American people are going to see the denial of the right of unlimited debate as the equivalent of FDR’s court-packing plan, which doomed the second term of his presidency to utter failure (he had a pretty good third term, winning the war).
The better way to proceed is to make the filibuster radioactive politically by letting the Democrats talk themselves to death. Give them enough rope and they will hang themselves by their vocal cords.
Frist just needs to end the “virtual” filibuster and make the Democrats stage a real one, replete with quorum calls, 24/7 sessions and truly endless debate covered word for word by C-SPAN for all the nation to see — and ridicule."


He goes on to talk about letting the Dems (libs actually) fillibuster a minor appointee to Miss. Appellat court, and let America see what a fillibuster is all about. But, , ,

"The Republican leaders, and the Democratic majority leader before them, have allowed the filibuster to be rehabilitated in the public mind by agreeing not to stage one. The gentlemanly filibusters of the modern era, where each side concedes unless one has 60 votes, have permitted virtual filibusters that incur no public wrath.
But let’s remember that it was the specter of the Senate’s being tied in knots by Sen. Richard Russell (D-Ga.) and his gang that doomed the South to accepting civil-rights legislation. When Hubert Humphrey and his allies had to sleep in the Senate chamber so that minorities could get the right to vote, America saw the excesses to which the South would go to deny minorities their rights."


Sounds good to me, lets see a REAL fillibuster on EACH appointee.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Emperor Misha has a link to Cali's new brainstrom on "firearm Safety"

They want to engrave serial numbers on each bullet.

Granted, I haven't seen much about it, but it raises some questions in my mind. Just off hand :
  1. Where will it be engraved? Wouldn't the propellant pretty much burn off anything "lightly' engraved on the base? We know it wouldn't last in front.
  2. Would the SN be on the casing, too?
  3. What about reloaders? Would they come pre-engraved? And if the case had the old SN, how would that change?
  4. What if you use those "birdshot" rounds? SN on each BB?
  5. Same question if your weapon gets stolen, they have your registered rounds?
  6. Muzzel loaders? What about the people who make their own bullets? Will they have to send them in to get 'tagged'? Will they then be tested for 'environmental hazards' too?
Hope someone asks, I have a good idea it wouldn't fly here in Texas.



(yet)

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Ok, I've seen enough, now I really want to know

WHO is the hot babe in the Those Shirts ads? You see her on the ads in most of the sidebars of almost all the blogs in my blogroll.
She looks to be of some kind of Mediteranian extraction.
UM,um, I could just eat her up (if I wasn't already married, that is- I love you hunny).
Ok, so now they're not only protecting us from ourselves


They're wanting to protect animals from themselves.


"Horses are particularly at high risk when there is intense action, so we're looking at adding another level of supervision and looking at stricter guidelines," Spaulding said.

Monday's accident marked the second time a horse was injured during filming on "Flicka." The AHA said a horse broke its leg in an accident two weeks ago. The break was so bad that the horse had to be euthanized.

Representatives for Fox and Animal Services said that they had no knowledge of the previous incident and could not comment.

Animal accidents, while rarer than they once were, still occur. The AHA said a horse was accidentally impaled during filming of 2001's "American Outlaws," and a bull broke its neck during a cattle drive during 2003's "The Rundown."

The AHA said that with productions going overseas, animal accidents on studio films might increase.


"There is no oversight, so the animals and the actors are at risk," Spaulding said. "We're hearing reports that that's happening."

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Potatoes I have known


Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to
watch while others do the work.
They are called "Spec Taters".

Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with
the way others do the work.
They are called "Comment Taters".

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't
want to soil their own hands.
They are called "Dick Taters".

Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree
with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet.
They are called "Agie Taters".

There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to
actually doing the promised help.
They are called "Hezzie Taters".

Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not.
They are called "Emma Taters".

Then there are those who love others and do what they say they will. They
are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand.
They bring real sunshine into the lives of others.
They are called "Sweet Po Taters".
Something that smells alot like San Antonio politics

Exept that it's Hewlett-Packard.

They gave the discraced exec "In addition to her 2004 salary of $1.4 million, the ousted chief executive reaped $1.6 million in performance bonuses. Her severance package was valued at $21.3 million. What else? Six months of administrative support, home security payments for a year, her desktop computer and three months of tech support. Oh, and $50,000 for financial counseling and legal and outplacement services."

It's like San antonio City hall on a smaller scale. They got rid of almost every head of every department there, and gave them all an extremely generous package. The S.A.W.S.( Water board) left with all his bennies and time off, and a years extra salery- his --part time--replacement is getting over $280,000 and full time bennies.
The Mayor Garza almost got the City Manager fired in the middle of the night- just a small "Open Meetings" law stopped that. She quit, and got A full years salary and all bennies, and I think "maintenance" untill she gets another job.
Her --part time-- replacement is making more than her also.

The new (almost) C.M. was going to get $50,000 in moving expenses, $1,000 in cell calls, Taxpayer payed trips back home twice a month for a year, $7,000/mo car allawance, and I'm not sure what her salery was, or her (even better) severance package was. But then again, she needed it, cause it's easy to pick on the girl.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Update on getting Dish network

Apparently, DishPronto has an affilliate down here that moved from Vermont after their sitcom was cancelled. I was scheduled to get my dish on Sat. but it was rescheduled for Sun, when Larry, Darryl and Darryl couldn't find my house. The Dish rep. I talked to Sun. nite told me they said they tried calling a phone that wasn't in use, and I was waiting - and couldn't get an answer. They were supposed to call my work cell phone today, but I didn't have any missed calls or messages.

Larrys mom answered the call at 4:35PM today and said "thaht I'd lefd ah messuge because it wouldn't ainser."
Me: OK, when's the soonest you can do it?
Lm: Ah kin skedule you as the first alternet tomarrah, if ya wanna wait all day.
Me: No I work, can't you have them come over at 4:15 or so?
Lm: Let me talk to the manerger ** holding** **holding** OK, no we kain't do thaht.
Me: Why not?
Lm: Because he said it'd take up to six hours to do 4 rooms. If we'd send one of them boys out that late, they'd git done after 10PM.
Me: ?????????
Lm: want us ta reskedule ya fer next Sat?
Me: NO, take me off your list, and refund my money, I'll go to Radio shack and do it myself, I can drill 4 holes through an outside wall.
Lm: Ok, I'll take you off the skeduale, but you'll have to talk to DishNetwork to git yer money bak, we're just an affiliate.

OK, so my crappy Charters' gone, and I don't have satellite TV. It doesn't bother me all that much, I'll miss Fox and Friends, and the Weather channel, but it'll be hard on the wife- missing her bad sci-fi, and all.


(Update 9:30PM- I couldn't get ahold of Dish Network, I was on hold for almost 20 min listening to how"important your call is to us". I wonder who won the bet on the length of hold time I'd tolerate. I guess I'll follow-up on the flaming mail that got sent.

I'm now scheduled for DIRECT TV for Weds afternoon at $19.00 instead of an upfront charge of $49.99)

Sunday, April 24, 2005

It's been a long semi-productive weekend

If you count it from my overtime standpoint. Not to good if you look at it from my employers. I got called in for a water main break as the water crews' boss was 2 hours to the east of San Antonio. As I was comming back from looking at the first one, I noticed another one- pushing up the asphalt at an intersection. I called the water boss, and made a line locate for it too.

As we were waiting the alloted two hours for SBC to locate their fiber-optic lines, we got ready to dig. The only people who showed up from the water crew was the boss and the on-call guy. I can't say much beacuse my entire crew wasn't there all at one time either, but everyone I called showed up.

We started digging about 5PM at the corner of our first leak, and found- alot of buried cr*p that we had to identify before we could let the backhoe work. We finally got down to the "leak" and found out the water was comming through a PVC sleeve with most likely the fiber-optic and what looked like about 76 pair copper line.

Oh fun- now WHERE is the water comming from?

As we were digging- machine assisted hand digging, we found ANOTHER PVC pipe marking something else. By this time it was about 9:30- 10PM, and we decided to barricade it off and work on the other one about 3 blocks away. That would be easier to fix- an 8" PVC Main that had a history of problems. Everyone knew right where that line was, and it was exposed with no problems in minimal time. We threw a big pump into the hole, de-watered it and slapped a "band-aid" (pipe repair clamp) on it in no time.

By the time we had it backfilled ( the boss wants us to backfill with calichie) and semi-cleaned up it was almost 11:15PM. We decided to come back at 8Am tomorrow and see about the other one, as it was on the downhill side of the same road-in conduit- just maybe to see if we'd fixed it, too.

We came back this morning and the hole was almost dry, so we spent about 2 1/2 hours on backfilling, compacting and hauling dirt.

So 10 hours of time and a half helps, but I don't want to make a habit out of it. It's been dry here, though and the ground is shifting, so it's going to get busy on the waterline front this summer.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Happy "Earth Day"

From your earth loving
ecoterrorists at E.L.F..
We decided to ditch Charter Cable and go with Dish Network

I ordered online from DishPronto and It's scheduled for this Sat.

Just wanted to let you know that if you give them an e-mail, you'll get a boatload of spam. I don't know if it's just one of those spamwaves, but none of my other mails are getting hit but that much. I guess I should have been wary when the communications babe they have reminded me strongly of Hillary. Just wanted to say . . .

(Update Apr 24 8:32PM) It appears that my satellite installers aren't rocket scientists, or map readers. I'd bet they don't even plug an address into Yahoo! Maps.

They rescheduled to today beteween 12 and 5PM. the service phone answerer guy (not "Anne Green" with a thick Indian accent) said the'd tried to call at 1:45Pm - but I was ho,me and no-one was online.

So now I've got to wait till they call me at work- on my work cell phone- to rechedule, and give them directions.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Remember at the beginning of this last Iraqi war

When a moslem soldier attacked his company with gernades and an ASSAULT RIFLE? Probably not, because it was premeditated murder by a person of the "Religion of Peace" and MSM doen't want to go there.

Turns out that (soon to be EX) SGT Hasan Akbar has been convicted Thursday by a military jury of premeditated murder and attempted murder in a grenade and rifle attack.

The reason for this attack? "Prosecutors say Akbar told investigators he launched the attack because he was concerned U.S. troops would kill fellow Muslims in Iraq. They said he coolly carried out the attack to achieve "maximum carnage" on his comrades in the 101st Airborne Division."

And naturally his defense tried: "Defense attorney Maj. Dan Brookhart countered that Akbar was concerned the invasion of Iraq would result in the deaths of Muslims and that U.S. soldiers would rape Iraqi women. (YUK - Kurt)

He said the prosecution's depiction of Akbar as a cold-blooded killer ignored that the defendant was sufficiently mentally ill — though not insane — to be confused and fearful about the impending invasion of Iraq.

The defense lawyer scoffed at an Army psychiatrist's testimony that Akbar suffered merely from "the blues" — not any serious mental problems.

"It doesn't make any sense. This guy doesn't have the blues," he said. "He is mentally ill."



Via LGF
Welcome to all the visitors that Joe sent over

And I know this blog is full of baloney, but I didn't see any links to me. You're welcome to look around and make yourself at home as I bask in the moderate glow of getting a Moderate launch.
Have you seen the latest image of "Our Lady"?

I guess I'd be more able to see Holy images if I grew up in a third world country where superstition was as common as SUVs'. That being said, I must have walked past the same kind of "visage" uncounted times with out realizing what "miracle" I was passing (and in some cases- fixing).

I guess God doesn't believe in the assumed presumption of the "seperation of Church and State" as He put a pic of the Virgin on a U.S. Post office window in Clearwater, Fl.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

As I look at my nightly blogs, it seems obligitory to mention the new Pope

Point One: I'm a consrevative, so am glad they are back on the path to the "old" way, the way things have been seen for close on 2000 years.

Point Two: In the stand against the moslem (re)invasion, I just have to say it's a good thing the sheep have a Good German Sheppherd.
When are those Republicans going to grow a pair?

I just heard about the delay on John Boltons nomination. I mean c'm on, after the Dems were falling all over themselves to defend Bill
Clinton and his White House frat brothers, those spineless Reps -even in a MAJORITY- couldn't force a vote because Bolton pounded on a womans f*ing DOOR???
If they're raising the bar that high as a requirement for higher office, I'd expect to see about 546 opening in the next election cycles.

HEY RNC they're called Cajonies, grow some!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

On a more (or less) heated note

We have this question from Junk Science:
Just where IS the "Global Mean Temperature" taken? At what elevation? How many places is it taken?

And more to the point, what IS the Earths "proper temprature?

You can also see a realtime hourly "Global Mean Temp" for you that are into "Global Temprature Variations"
I was wondering why I made Yahoo search on this question

When I remembered my e-mail address, which is a nickname from my old Sea Bee Battalion

Monday, April 18, 2005

Finally, the Dems are making a move on high gas prices

(2005-04-12) -- With gasoline prices at the pump well over $2 per gallon, Democrats in Congress who have staunchly opposed oil drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR), today sought to prove they have a proactive plan for America's energy independence.

At a news conference on the steps of the Capitol, Congressional Democrats unveiled a new 7-point plan for fossil fuel freedom. The $873 billion program would create a new Department of Independence from Petroleum Suppliers to implement the following proactive measures.

* Low-income families will receive a monthly allocation of refined Alaskan caribou milk -- a cheap, plentiful alternative to gasoline.
* America will harness the energy of environmental protestors by paying them to push the cars of government officials.
* American corporations will be required to hire people from neighborhoods within three miles of their facilities to enhance "employee ambulatory commuting."
* Popular vacation spots will be required to relocate to within five miles of population density centers. For example, Disney will open virtual Magic Kingdom kiosks in thousands of convenience stores nationwide.
* All of the nation's remaining undeveloped land, abandoned lots and industrial 'brown field' sites will be designated as national parks to provide local vacation spots within walking distance for most Americans.
* The IRS will offer a Family-Compound Tax Credit to extended families which establish joint residence on the same property, thereby eliminating the need to drive to visit loved ones.
* The federal tax on a gallon of gasoline will be increased to $8.59 in order to reduce consumption and thereby increase the supply which will drive down the price per gallon.


Now, where do you think this came from? Junk Science, The New Editor, or Scrappleface?
Something else I forgot about small town Texas

The mail is delivered by truck to larger processing centers, so there are alot of small towns on the carriers rout. If you want to get mail postmarked the same day, you need to get it into the P.O. building, because the mail is collected from the boxes when the mail truck is near. In Hondo it's 5:45 PM- only- daily or 3:55PM on Saturdays. If you miss that, then you need to find someone going to San Antonio the next morning.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Aelfheld has some good posts about the way those "RINOS" are acting up in DC

He's started a series of articles about "the Base" being snubbed by republicans in DC.

I agree, I'm not a real republican, I'm a Conservative. I want to be able to vote for the person that I think will help run this country the right way. No that's not a typo, Reagan was a Republican, Newt Gingrich is a Republican, there aren't many real Republicans up in DC now. most are Republicans In Name Only.

Go read him, he's got the wonderful gift of language ; I wish I could write half as well as him.
Update on our CATatonic relationship with the dogs

Ok we'd been feeding the cat thru the fence, and he'd been coming through it to get some attention. Yesterday I left the little black dog out (more medium size, really) to see if she'd be nice. She knew the cat was in the yard with us, but didn't know where. As wife was working on the garden, cat was with her and dog found him.

The black dog didn't hesitate before she went for the cat and got a mouthfull of grey fur, and a swat across the face from the cat. Meg was startled, and took a step back as the cat was swiping at air. Cat saw an opportunity, and up the tree he went. It was a tree next to the back porch, and dog didn't know WHERE cat went. She can't climb trees, so I guess it never occored to her to look up.

Anyway the cat stayed in the tree untill wife and I went out to practice with the pellet gun (about 2 hours later), guess cat is a Liberal and doesn't like guns. Down the tree he went, and though the fence.

OK, you'd think the cat would get a clue about dogs. Wrong, he was inside the fence with BOTH dogs runing free. I was spraying them as they got too close, well dogs are dogs, and nature took it's course. It was the same friendly black dog that went after the cat again. He's now hiding under the back shed.
More hints for small towns in west Texas

When doing the weekly shopping, if there is a Super-S in one town and an H.E.B. in another, don't even think about heading all the way into the southside-San Antonio to the *ONLY* H.E.B. within 5 miles. Especially if it's close to an Air Force base(and it's a small H.E.B. to boot).

It will probably be a little more expensive in the small town, but will be ALOT less crowded- and more friendly.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

In case you missed all the MSM hype about the Giuliana Sgrena investigation


"The preliminary report from a joint U.S.-Italian investigation has cleared the American soldiers of any wrongdoing and provides new details into the shooting.

Intelligence agent Calipari had just negotiated Sgrena's release from Iraqi kidnappers on March 4 when the two and a driver headed for the Baghdad airport in a compact rental car.

It was dark when the Italians turned onto a ramp leading to the airport road where the U.S. military had set up a temporary checkpoint.

The investigation found the car was about 130 yards from the checkpoint when the soldiers flashed their lights as a warning to stop. But the car kept coming and, at 90 yards, warning shots were fired. At 65 yards, when the car failed to stop, the soldiers used lethal force — a machine gun burst that killed Calipari and wounded Sgrena and the driver.

The investigation failed, however, to resolve one critical dispute: The Americans claim the car was racing toward the checkpoint at about 50 miles per hour, the Italians say it was traveling at a much slower speed."


Funny how it's failed to mention the Commie Reporter even told about how they were going so fast, they almost lost control more than once.

Oh, and don't bother searching for more information today, the only ones with up-to-date mentions are Right Wing Blogs.
Update on the cell phone

If you move to a small town in the western part of Texas, be aware that there are NO local cell phone numbers. The 830 area code surrounds San Antonio (210) and the closest 830 number I was offered was New Braunfels. I guess I'll keep my 210 prefix, it doesn't really matter, since my T-Mobile cell doesn't work at the house anyway. There is no real need to get it working anyway, because most of my new neighbors don't seem to be illegal MEXICANS.
Oh, by the way, Andrea Dworkin is dead

Now it's safe to use your male marital rights to put your wife back in bed. Or back chained to the stove barefoot and pregnant.

Friday, April 15, 2005

I had forgotten just how expensive it is to move

Not the moving its self- we did that, but the initial service fees. We're paying SBC $157.06 for 3 days of service; and speaking of phones:
T-mobile:
if I wanted my service companys primary message to be MEXICAN, I wouldn't have signed up for one whose spokesbabe speaks the Kings English and Welch. Sorry but I have a gripe about an AMERICAN company giving their MEXICAN customers first billing on the hierarchy of auto answering machines.

I've been prompt on the electric, so Bluebonnet Elect. Co-op can send a credit letter to Medina Co. Elect. Co-op, and not have another $250 added to the bill.

As far as a choice between Charter cable and satellite TV, go satellite. When you cull all the Shopping channels, MEXICAN channels, Sports channels, and other assorted BS, there are about 15 choices to flip through. I'll pay the same amount for about 120 usable channels, thank you very much.

Did I mention we inherited a declawed cat? The dogs want to 'play' with it. He (his given name is/was Beudreau) they're slowly getting together. I don't think the black dog would have too much trouble, but the fat white one doesn't want to play nice. He has access to water, but we're putting his food arms reach on the other side of the fence. He had some Tx style pork ribs last night, too.

Everything is settling down, the girls are out playing in the community park, and wife is watching her bad Sci-Fi (yes we have the Sci-Fi Channel).

Thursday, April 14, 2005

New words for 2005


BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.


SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
on everything, and then leaves.


ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.


SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed and die.


CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.


PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going
on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may
be cake.)


MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.


SITCOMs - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".


STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.


PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the cr*p out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.


ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded
"administrivia" needless paperwork and processes.


404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.


OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that
you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')


BEER COAT - The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a
booze cruise at 3 in the morning.


BEER COMPASS - The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
live, how you got here, and where you've come from.


JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical
adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from
the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.


MILLENNIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely
impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought in
there worth seeing.


MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while
you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the
unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when
you come back in.


MYSTERY TAXI - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves
a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

SALAD DODGER - An excellent phrase for an overweight person.