Seriously. If it's not him... I know him anyway.
Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a
maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles,
wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a
Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be
apparent in the pictures.
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are
scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for
pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch
a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit
job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those
candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never
owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider
adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could
hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you
consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy
footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty
queens on their calendars?